April 20th, 2009

Scary Books

Primeval Season 3 Ep 4 Review

The ARC is rebuilt already. Sarah pokes at the artefact with a brio. Bad government types have monsters and a cloaking device that can hide anomalies. It is hinted that Lester is leaving the show too. Nobody is mourning Cutter and nobody is looking for Helen. People act like morons and there are various plot contrivances. Nigel Marven makes a cameo and gets eaten by a G-Rex. Quinn shows up to replace Cutter. Abby's brother shows up for no clear reason. Jenny acts like a cow. A plane is menaced by a G-Rex and some reporters come to a bad end. Off screen so we don't know if the G-Rex ate them, stepped on them or forced them through the anomaly. This was a truly awful episode.

Best Line: "You think the creatures are frightening Jenny, you should try the civil service."
Scary Books

Movie Review: When A Stranger Calls

When a Stranger Calls (2006)

Jill (who looks like a little ewok) baby-sits and is menaced by creepy phonecalls but keeps answering the phone. The creepy caller is inside the house but that is only revealed toward the end. Instead we get endless Jill back-story of her bland boyfriend, slutty friend, Jill's overly large phone bill and many beauty shots of the house in the middle of nowhere. This house is so modern it had an indoor aviary and koi pond, where you just know the big confrontation will take place.

This was dull, annoying crap. Even a cameo by Derek de Lint of 'Poltergeist: The Legacy' didn't make me like this film. It was awful, unoriginal and utterly non-scary. Everyone was an idiot.

Best Lines:
"I've been getting really weird prank phonecalls all night."
"So then don't answer the phone, I'm sure they have voicemail."

"What do you want?"
"Your blood, all over me."
Scary Books

Terminator The Sarah Connor Chronicles 2x16 Review

Some Must Watch, While Some Must Sleep
It is watching eps like this that make you understand why this show was axed. You just know that if an ep has Sarah's idiot narration, it'll be a bad one. Sarah utters the line: "The witching hour is controlled by witches." This was pointless, Sarah is captured and menaced by a guy she thought she'd killed and has hallucinations of a sleep clinic.
Scary Books

The Young Ones Series 1 Review, Part 1

Ep 1: Demolition
This is the introduction episode. The gang are at their first house which is scheduled to be demolished. Mike gets called a "Thunderbird puppet." Rick watches a painfully wannabe hip 'youth' tv show and kicks in the tv in anger. The 80's technology looks amazingly out of date: the tv has an ariel and the radio looks bizarre. This was okay.

Ep 2: Oil
The gang move into their new house. Mike finds Buddy Holly in his bed room. Christopher Ryan (Mike) is cute. Mike turns Rick's room into a roller disco and then his game of golf gets a bit gross. Anyway then Vyv plays murder in the dark in the cellar and claims to have struck oil. So Mike sets himself up as El Presidente and Vyv is his enforcer Colonel Vyv. So via some cricket bat violence, Rick and Neil are made to dig all the oil up. This was okay, Robbie Coltrane guest starred as the bouncer at the roller disco.
Scary Books

Heroes Season 3 Ep 23 Review


Peter's gig as a resistance leader was short-lived, now his momma is recruiting him into setting up a new company. Flashbacks reveal how Angela, her sister Alice and her parents were locked up in Coyote Sands in 1961. Also along for the ride were Little Charles and Little Linderman. One night the guards massacred everyone held at the place. So the Company was started in reaction to what happened at Coyote Sands.

Bennet is useless, Peter is smug, Mohinder is useless and it turns out that Alice has spent 50 years hiding in the desert. Alice is a Weather Warden, but also an insane loon due to Angela screwing her over. It turns out Sylar is impersonating Nathan, so it seems like 'Five Years Gone' is really going to happen. This was goodish but I'm getting a horrible feeling that Nathan will be killed off to give more tv time to Peter and his wonky mouth.
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Trailer time fun

'Please Don't Leave Me' music video
Saw the full uncensored version of this melancholy song. What a creepy, 'Misery' inspired video this is. This is a good song with a good video.

'If U Seek Amy' music video
An awful video that looks cheap and the pop tart looks rough.

'So NoTORIous' clips
Saw some clips of Tori Spellings cancelled show. It mocked her 'Beverly Hills 90210' days and co-starred the guy who plays Sylar on 'Heroes'. The clips I saw showed Tori's terror of 'Brenda' and how she was thoroughly mocked by 'Dylan', 'Andrea' and 'Brandon'. Hee, this looks very funny.

'Parker Lewis Can't Lose' clips
"Synchronise swatches"
This was an unabashed 'Ferris Bueller' rip-off, but was superior due to the fact it didn't star Matthew Broderick. Parker was smug, his friends were loyal, the Principle was freakish, her creepy sidekick Frank was nicknamed The Teenage Mutant Sidekick and there was a really large guy lumbering around. I remember liking this back in the day: Green jello! Frank in a 'Lawrence of Arabia' homage! Parker and co blackmailing Frank into doing their bidding by holding his complete collection of 'Soldier of Fortune' magazines to ransom! Upon viewing these clips, memories came back and there was a warm glow of nostalgia. However I didn't get a desire to buy 'Parker Lewis' on DVD.

'GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra' trailer
The 9th Doctor is in it and seems to be the baddie, so I'm there. No other reason.

'Dollhouse' trailers
"Not anymore."

Watched the trailers for various 'Dollhouse' episodes and I'm intrigued. It looks cool, it's a shame the show is pretty much axed. Why do people watch 'The Mentalist' and not this?

'Harper's Island' trailer
More murders than in an average episode of 'CSI: Miami! This looks good and I'm suspecting that the guy who was 'Jake 2.0' is the killer.

'Susan Boyle's audition on Britain's Got Talent'
Yes, she can sing but I'm sure that whole audition scene was a set-up to get ratings and media attention.

'The Signal' trailer
This low budget horror looks creepy but the whole setup is a ripoff of Stephen King's 'Cell'.

Sarah Michelle Gellar as Kendall on 'All My Children'
Wow, SMG used to be a brunette and used to gatecrash funerals. Not bad. So did Erica Kane throw Kendal out of Mona's funeral or not?

Lost Season 5 Ep 13 Review

Some Like It Hoth

This is all about Miles. The psychic learns that Horace and co are breaking the truce by building a station in hostile territory. A workman dies there after a filling shoots out of his tooth and through his brain. Miles reveals that Chang is his dad. Hurley isn't too impressed with Chang after Chang threatens Hurley with being sent to Hydra island to weigh polar bear turds. Miles gets to see his mom and dad cooing over his baby self. Hurley plans to prevent global warming and write a better script for 'The Empire Strikes Back'. People notice little Ben is missing from the infirmary. Roger acts belligerent to Kate and Jack. Phil is onto Sawyer so Sawyer knocks him cold. Why do Sawyer and Juliet have rope just lying around their home? Daniel shows up on the island. How he got off the island and then got recruited to come back is not yet explained.

Miles was recruited by Widmore to talk to ghosts to find Ben. But some other people told him not to go. Who are these new people? Who purchased an old plane and dug up graves? Why haven't the Hostiles noticed Dharma building the hatch? Where is Sayid? Why did Chang apparently order his wife and baby off the island? Did he know the purge was coming? Did Chang die in the purge? This was an okay episode.

Best Lines:
"Isn't that Hostile territory?"

"The ditch had a gun?"

"Where's his body?"
"Somewhere you could never go."

"This island has a number of deceased individuals residing on it and as this man is the one responsible for their being deceased."