epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Battlestar Galactica 1x16&1x17 Reviewed 👎👎🍝

The War Of The Gods

Baltar's trial happens off screen and he acts as though contempt is unwarrented. His sins aren't inconsequential. Iblis revels in the fleet's worship. Iblis plays the aged sage. Baltar ends up on the prison barge. Baltar demands a truce. Baltar recognises Iblis' voice as that of the cylon leader. Baltar is tainted with self pity.

Iblis intones; Longfellow couldn't have said it better. Adama has lonely integrity. Athena can't act. Boxey bores and it is absolutely astounding how stupid people are. Why is it so important that Apollo play the porno ball game?

Iblis suggests polymory to Starbuck, who is interested. There is disco and capes. People ignore alerts. Iblis won sympathy but is a fervent baddie. People have an abdication of responsbility and this show's episodes have wildly divergent degrees of success. Adama can move items with his mind. Iblis performs an appointed taks. Adama can bend spoons. Sheba wails. What was the crashed ship on the planet? Was it the Pegasus? What did Starbuck and Apollo see? Iblis is just a dirty old man who wants to get his leg over. Iblis is the devil. There is bad VFX and Iblis kills Apollo – cue some horrible acting.

Where did the weird screen tint go? Did they just leave a viper on the planet? The bright lights aliens show up covered in saran wrap. People wear white outfits. The aliens babble about Apollo's value – a plot point which came to nothing. Apollo is raised from the dead. Where were these aliens when the 12 colonies fell? Why do the female warriors not wear uniforms to the fancy dinner? Apollo, Starbuck and Sheba spew navigational co-ordinates to Earth.

Best Lines:

“Violation of every code of moral and ethical conduct known to man.”

“Rejoice in the fall of Baltar.”

“Disquieting events.”

“Demand that the journey to Earth begin.”

“So much for my moment of glory.”

“Curfew for duty officers.”

“Disgraceful accounting of yourselves.”

“What are they? What are you?”

“You want to come.”

“May her soul curse you through eternity.”

“Willingly give you dominion.”

“Seeded and nutured new civilizations.”

“In a starsystem with 9 planets and 1 sun.”

The Man With Nine Lives

Fred Astaire guest stars as Starbuck's deadbeat dad. Starbuck has a sob story origin story. There are journalists on this show – ugh. TPTB try to recruit colonial warriors. DNA tests don't exist in this show. Malignant bastard Starbuck is an ass. This is ass.

Best Lines:

“This fool is of your blood.”

“Trek through the stars.”

“Mega sun.”

“Unpardonable sin.”

Tags: battlestar galactica/caprica, scary 1970s tv

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