December 26th, 2008

Scary Books

Survivors Episode 6 review

Somehow this bungled remake has been renewed. One has to wonder, why? This show feels like the survivors are on a bad holiday, rather than survivors of a plague that has wiped out everything they knew and everyone they loved. So much is glossed over: where are getting water? Who is washing their clothes and sheets? How are they washing the aforementioned clothes and sheets? Where are they getting the power to boil water to make their tea? Where do they get their endless petrol? Why are there no diseases from the millions of unburied bodies?

Abby's group just come across as a useless, stupid collection of idiots who take no precautions against crazy looters, sex offender gangs, government nutters and vivisection minded scientists. They're too dumb to live and yet somehow they do.

Tom wanders around in his underpants to get his fans excited and then the government nutters show up and they've allied with the crazy looters. Sarah reunites with Bob and sells out Anya rather than be forced to care for him. Anya's carted off after the government nutters learn she's a doctor. Naj acts like a brat and runs off. After Tom and co rescue Anya, they head off into the city in search of Naj. Meanwhile Abby is so special that her blood is the key to the vaccine, so the scientists hunt her down via their really conspicuous helicopter.

The dead city is suggested by trash, two bodies, one fire and one rat. Where are the dog packs? The bodies? Meanwhile Naj has ended up in gang of kid looters led by a modern day Fagin and Nancy. The kids loots McDonald's chip fat to power a generator, wouldn't that fat be solid by now anyway? In the end Abby's a snot and is carried off by the scientists, Greg's shot, Tom can't shoot straight and Sarah and Anya are useless. Also a final scene shows Peter is alive.

This was okay, but this show was so sanitised and glossy, it destroyed any impact it could have have. I was looking forward to this show and it was a total letdown, it was lame, dull and boring. Where was the desperation? The grimness?
Scary Books

Movie review: Sky High (2005)

Sky High (2005)

Will is the son of legendary superheroes The Commander (Kurt Russell) and Jetstream (Kelly Preston - 'Spacecamp'), so naturally he attends Sky High. It is the school for heroes to be as well as hero support aka sidekicks. Sky High is located on a floating aircraft carrier, the Principle is played by Lynda Carter ('Wonder Woman') and the fearsome PE teacher Boomer is played by none other than Bruce Campbell, who sports a truly horrendous pair of shorts.

Will's powers haven't manifested yet and so he is banished to the social siberia that is hero support. He also gets an arch enemy in the form of Warren Peace (Steven Strait), who is the son of a supervillain and a hero (quite how that pairing came to be isn't addressed). The Commander put Warren's dad is jail and Warren holds a grudge.

When Will's powers finally emerge, he gets to date the popular but mean Gwen and play the 'Save-The -Citizen' game in PE. 'Save-The-Citizen' involves dummies being placed in life threatening situations while two groups of students (one playing heroes, the others playing villains) battle either to save them or not. While watching one game of this, a teacher comments wistfully: "Remember when we used to use real citizens?"

Will acts like a jerk and ignores his sidekick pals in favour of Gwen and her buddies but events come to a climax at the school dance when an unexpected supervillain is unleashed. So now Will, the sidekicks and Warren have to save the day. This was good, leaving aside the cheesy superhero costumes and wire-fu. It was very funny even if the social message was hammered home.

Best Lines:
"It's my first day at Sky High and I already have an arch enemy."

"I'm sorry that my dad put your dad in jail."

"Eggs? Bacon?"
"No thanks. You know how my mom can commicate with animals? Apparently they don't like being eaten."

"I went through puberty twice, for this?"

"The kids who get bit by radioactive insects or fall into a vat of toxic waste, their powers usually show up the next day. Or they die."
Scary Books

Prison Break Season 4 Ep 16 review

The Sunshine State

Linc heads off to Miami to find Scylla. He's aided by Gretchen, Self and T-Bag. The fact Self was shot in the previous ep is ignored as is the fact that T-Bag lost two teeth. Thankfully Self is back to his usual chipper self. Sure his abrupt turn to the dark side remains unexplained, but he's back to his lovable obnoxiously self-assured, spectacularly ruthless self.

Gretchen runs around in leather, her bruises have faded. Meanwhile the Company try to brainwash Michael, somehow he has no scars from his brain surgery. Michael is shown photos of a family fishing trip which ignores the established fact that Aldo ran off before Michael was born. Which is why he and Linc have different surnames. Meanwhile Mahone shows up to join Linc's crew, how he found them after running off with nothing to his name but the clothes on his back and a piece of pipe in 'Going Under' isn't explained.

Lisa helps Sara find Michael informing her the Company are "Carving out his personality." Sara rescues Michael after he blows up a water heater with the wonderfully named 'Liquid Purge'. Scylla is long gone and was bought by Linc and Michel's mother who is supposed to have died 25 years ago as established way back in season 1. Gretchen is shot, T-Bag of all people urges mercy and the gang leave her to be arrested. Gretchen will presumably end up in jail and maybe get to see her daughter on visitation days.

This was a good episode, the highlight of which was Self's rant at Gretchen after she betrayed them. But the fact that Linc and Michael's mother is alive is idiocy. Also Linc is totally unconcerned with his brother's welfare. He also doesn't understand the term, low profile, as he strides around Miami in his trademark unbuttoned shirt. Linc is a useless character.

Best Lines:
"I'll sail you off that loft balcony."

"You whore! You're a whore! And your mother was a whore and her mother! And your father used to turn tricks at a gas station, cos he was a whore too!"
Scary Books

Doctor Who: The Next Doctor review

The 2008 Christmas special was what was expected. Stupid stunts, stupid monsters, idiot comedy, David Morrissey and a plot that made no sense. Cybermen and cybershades run around London with no Torchwood in sight. David Tennant 'acts' like he is in a panto. The cyberking concept is idiocy. how was the ship hidden in the Thames? How did it get into the Thames? And how did the whole next doctor plot make any logical sense after what happened to Donna? Still the sight of all previous 9 Doctors was a cute touch.

However this really meant nothing in the end.