The Cradle of Civilisation
Every week this show gets worse.
An ancient tablet is discovered when a photo-journalist falls down a hole that nobody has found before now. It all ties into Tiamat, Dolly trying (and failing) to be Gene Hunt, a crap CGI snake, hints that there is something up with Vivienne and a cute kid who can save the universe. Also the sub-plot of Excalibur (still they won't say the name) drags on as it is said that the sword was carved from a meteorite. Wasn't the legendary sword carved from meteorite trope already done in the novel 'Riptide'? This was deathly dull awfulness.
1/2 the cast has been dumped and replaced with a new lot including a cadaverous Peter O'Toole. Now O'Toole knows he's in tosh and camps it up appropriately. He has some great lines, including: "It was very wrong for some people to dig up his body and stab it in the street" and "Why doesn't someone just get rid of her?"
As the Henry/Anne/Katherine plot drags on and on, Suffolk oils his way around court. Suddenly he has a son, where did the son come from? Since the show has disposed of Henry VIII's sister(s), where will Lady Jane Grey and Mary, Queen of Scots come from? The ill-fated Mark Smeaton pops up, Anne Boleyn doesn't ride side saddle and Katherine's martyr acts grows tiresome.
Anne's turquoise tiara.
Anne's riding hat.
Katherine of Aragon's Princess Leia hair-do.
Dwayne Johnson has done action, comedy, existential weirdness and now he does a twee, sappy Disney flick.
He plays Joe Kingman, an American football star who is arrogant, selfish and owner of a ridiculously OTT bachelor pad. Disney caters to the minivan majority by regularly showing Johnson with his shirt off, making one wonder how much pancake makeup was needed to cover his massive tattoo collection. Anyway one day Joe learns he has a daughter by his ex-wife.
The daughter, Peyton, is played by a precociously wannabe-cute child actress who can't act. She makes Joe a better person and helps him find a new interest with her ballet teacher. Then Peyton's evil harridan guardian Karen shows up to sunder this newly formed parental unit. No! Back shrieky woman, Joe and Peyton are now a family and live happily, ever after.
This is twee, sappy and emotionally manipulative. It's also got plot holes you could drive a minivan through. It does have some funny moments though I will give it that.