epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Battlestar Galactica 1x11&1x12+Finding Alice (2021) 1x01+The Drowning 1x04 Reviewed 👎👎👎👎🖨

The Young Lords

Bruce Glover and Audrey Landers guest star in this ep which has more bad child actors. Oh misery. Starbuck's viper is damaged and he has to crashland. Again. This misfortune keeps happening to him. This was soulcrushing and TPTB think Starbuck is deliciously filthy. There's a castle and cylons and idiot kids and this was awful, with fervour. This was nowhere near good enough.

This was not mesmerising and is impecably dull. Why do robots have mouths? Starbuck doesn't let the apocalyptic fall of the colonies stop him being a sexually harassing git. This was an inevitable disappointment. The moral failure Baltar is actively furious and sees it as his solemn obligation to annoy. Kids play at 'Robin Hood' and they wear bad 'Thor' cosplay for reasons. There is bad acting and this unredeemable rubbish.

This looks drab and dull and it is full of annoying kids. This was misconceived and full of men acting creepy towards children. This was preposterous naffness. This does not thrive. There are not transfixing performances and this was pretty dreadful and really stupid. A burk thinks he is a maverick. There is no pathos and this was not perfectly delightful.

Best Lines:

“Rather limited in ability.”

“An obscure outpost.”

“The tin cans pillage.”

“By your command.”

“I don't know how he does it.”

“He smiles and you choose him. Him over father.”

The Living Legend

The Battlestar Pegasus commanded by Cain is encountered. He has big hair, gold braid and war mongers. Lloyd Bridges guest stars as Cain. There is exposition and bad acting. People live intellectually in the middle ages. There are no serious concerns. The rag tag fugitive fleet is running out of fuel. Bridges overacts. Starbuck's hooker is also shagging Cain. Bad feeling festers. Baltar is a tool. Why is this so bad?

Best Lines:

“Locked on kill.”

“Cain perished along with the 5th fleet.”

Finding Alice (2021) 1x01

A 6 part Itv comedy-drama. A man designed a smart home for his kin but he didn't put a bannister on the staircase. Ooops. Now he's died after taking a header down the stairs and his wife can't open the curtains or find the fridge. Bitchy annoying cops hand out. The wife's horrible parents show up. She can't get any money. The dead man's family are weird, his office was trashed and some stranger lurked in the house before he died. The inlaws want the house. Why did the father have a letter from a fertility clinic? The husband had a bastard son??? This was crap.

Best Lines:

“To keep out intruders like you.”

The Drowning 1x04

This Channel 5 misfire ends. The father's bitch new wife sulks and storms off. Daniel isn't Tom. The slut second wife is told what a whore she is. Some criminal randos lurk. Daniel's father finally tells the truth, a bit late mate. No grim reality. Jodie's bruvver looks like the grubby type who only changes his knickers twice a week. The whole family are bags of rats. Jodie's bruvver is a bad guy. Secrets come out. This was crap.

Tags: battlestar galactica/caprica, review, scary 1970s tv

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