epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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The Blacklist 8x09 + The Drowning 1x03 + Battlestar Galactica 1x04&1x05 + DS9 6x01&6x02 Reviewed

The Cyranoid

A Liz non-doppelganger shows up. People babble about Liz's plan. This was incoherent. So Red is evil, like duh. I've no idea what Red's planning. Where is Liz? What is going on? People claim the Liz doppelganger looks exactly like her – she does not. Red is overdue for a reckoning. This was dumb as all hell as various morally reprehensible people try for furious intensity. Grave consequences are threatened in this stupid and exhausting show.

Best Lines:

“A cause greater than herself.”

“Collect enemies in your wake.”

“Dead for all I care.”

“A war criminal and an international fugitive. Your parents must be proud.”

“Engaged in a 30 year project.”

“To what end I don't know.”

“Kept secret for far too long.”

“Army on both sides of the law.”

“What it makes you, I'm still grappling with.”

“Rots your soul.”

“So very operatic, even for you.”

“Used to gettinging your way every time.”

The Drowning 1x03

Jodie plans to flee with Daniel. Jodie finally does a DNA test. Daniel's home is a sinister place of secrets. This was a dreadful travesty. Jodie hangs out with forgers. Jodie acts like a crazy woman. Some snotty cow bothers Jodie. Daniel's creepy dad bothers Jodie so she whacks him with a massive pipe. Jodie's thick. Jodie's a thief. This was irredeemable crap. Jodie's arrested. The ex is an ass. This has no meaning. Daniel is Tom!

Best Lines:

“It's what I'm running to.”

“What is the point of you?”

Lost Planet Of The Gods

Apollo is to marry the woman he rescuced. Adama invokes the Lords Of Kobol. Starbuck always has a self-congratulatory smirk and a reckless approach. This was not brisk or eventful. There is no savage emotional reckoning. Starbuck is dementedly oblivious. Baltar is a disgusting person and has vicious rage.

This was a bitter disappointment. There is no desperation. Baltar has self-righteous indignation. There is no coherent emotional sense. This show has an obsession with bombastic plotting and Baltar is up to no good and needs to hold his whisht. There is no whiff of desperation and Baltar has mythic self image and indignant conviction. There is no generalised fear.

This Tigh and Apollo are superior to their reboot versions. This was foolish and illness strikes the fleet. The doctor wears what looks like a raincoat as hazmat gear. Disease strikes the viper pilots. Apollo is angry that his woman wants to be a shuttle cadet. There are no useless reporters in this show – people in this show have actual jobs. Apollo is very tan and his hair is very big. Apollo trains female shuttle pilots to be viper pilots. This was not charged with potential.

Starbuck is sexist and sly and unpleasant. This was tedious and absurd. There is no tension of expectation. This was a bore. Why do cylons speak English? This was very disappointing. Pilots are credited as girl warriors. FFS. Starbuck is an ass and is captured by the cylons.

This show has limited competency and Baltar has malicious compliance. Apollo marries and Adama rants about Kobol. The mother planet Kobol is obviously a set. Baltar babbles and Starbuck just wanders away from the cylons. This was not a plausible scenario. Apollo's wife dies.

Best Lines:

“May be the end of us all.”

“Cylon sentinel post.”

“Book of the word.”

“Void is infinite.”

“Old time warriors.”

“No safe place.”

“Everyone's being trained.”

“Only means of defence.”

“Known to be doomed.”

“Get them combat ready.”

“A magnetic abyss?”

“Isn't he wonderfully devious?”

“Oh frak!”

“First to fall.”

“My machine friends.”

“Half drunken star voyagers.”

“Migrated to the stars.”

“Come bearing the twig of peace.”

A Time To Stand

DS9 is under Dominion occupation and the war is going badly. Garak annoys. A captured Jem'Hadar ship is used. Yawn.

Rocks And Shoals

The ship crashes. Whatever.

Best Line:

“Everything's off line.”

Tags: battlestar galactica/caprica, review, scary 1970s tv, star trek, the blacklist

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