epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: Turistas aka Paradise Lost (2006) + The Look Of Love 👎👎

Turistas aka Paradise Lost (2006)

There is no local charm in this ridiculous, implausible, racist and sexist 'horror' that stars Josh Duhamel, Melissa George and Olivia Wilde. Nobody in this film will ever be A-list. The tourists are sterotypical ugly Americans. This film was unwatchable and uninteresting and lazy and it had no great amount of acclaim.

This film had no emotional heart and it was slight and silly. This film has no heavy presence in popular culture. George's character appears to have white girl dreads, also she is topless when she is horribly killed. FFS. People have phones from the 90s and this was ridiculous. There is no suspension of disbelief as this was completely implausible.

The idiots deserve to get the lard beaten out of them. There is no emotional heart just sleaze. Eventually after a long, long time the whiny, arrogant, hateful brats fall into the hands of organ thieves. This was not emotionally resonant. The idiots succumb, eventually. There are altercations and Duhamel has no point other than being a combative shirtless guy.

The idiots are robbed and this was appalling, pointless and pitiful. This film was rejected widely and heavily handely condemned. This is not worth your time or attention. They have no trepidation. Their options are foreclosed and nobody has any ethical savvy.

People are messy and difficult and they engage in ethical contortions. This was egregious and people do not live exemplary lives. This was horrifically slow and the nasty characters are reprobates. This was a very, very negative experience. This was particularly horrible and not joyous. They have their organs stolen which is traumatic for Duhamel, not the people who are you know murdered. There is no motivation to care. This is not a crisis of great magnitude and watching this is not to your benefit.

The idiots had no plans for their lives or self-awareness or openess or friendliness. This deserved to be derided. Why does Duhamel escape the harsher consequnces? There is an air of despondency. If you want to see a film based on an urban myth, watch 'Urban Legend'. The idiots have no apprehension. The ending is dumb ass as the unsettled and distressed survivors leg it. Be dismissive of this implausible film.

Best Lines:

“Such a tourist!”

“I knew he was dodgy.”

“Grubby foreign tourists.”

“Very european hips.”

“We have no money. We have no way out of here.”

“Dead, they are worthless.”

“No designs on your organs! Your kidneys are safe with us!”

The Look Of Love (2013)

A biopic of Paul Raymond and his talentless and doomed daughter Debbie. This was pointless.

Tags: hunted, movie review

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