epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Riverdale 5x03+Private Eyes (2016-?) 4x01+The Terror 1x09&1x10 Reviewed ⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡🔌


Jughead broods about his sister and her true intentions. FP leaves, ditching Jughead and leaving him homeless, again. Alice could care less. FP heads off to be a good dad to Jellybean. One feels personal loathing for Archie. He has wicked purpose. Is Veronica's dad still feuding with a teen? Jellybean's friends sleep under a boxing ring. Betty and Jughead slept in her bed across the room from FP and Alice – ick.

Betty wonders if their adventures will affect the next generation. Archie has pompus certainty. Cheryl broods and there is no depth or originality. No couple has absolute passion. Veronica puts on her pearl necklace again. There are flashbacks and Molly Ringwald. Will there be unexpected and profound consequences to any of this?

FP is a bad dad and Skeet Ulrich looks dirty. Archie joins the army. A time capsule from 1945 is opened. Archie looks like he is 40. It's the last day of school. Jason and the various musicals and other things are mentioned in the yearbook. Jughead graduates, Archie does not.

Archie lies to Jughead and we don't really know anything about them other than what TPTB want to portray. There are puddles deeper than this show. This was nuanced and Archie does not care about Veronica or Jughead. Veronica is predictably hostile to Archie until she isn't. They are not the ultimate foursome.

Veronica and Archie boff. There is no huge incentive to care. Archie is in a foul mood. Jughead got into college. FP feels no enduring link to his son. Archie wears a bowtie and gurns. Why does Cheryl wear a red robe when she graduates when everybody else wears blue? Betty makes a speech about the generation coming up. Archie sings and where's the turbulence? This show largely disappoints. This is the cumulative result of unethical goings on. This was shoddy. I don't care about Archie's personal rebellion. Cheryl's mother lurks in a bush. Veronica's dad has aggression and hostility. FP heads off on his bike with Jellybean in a sidecar.

I'm sure there are the sinister and ugly developments to come, Veronica wears a slutty outfit. Where is the volatility? Veronica owns the diner? The class make a time capsule. Jughead puts his hat in said time capsule. Archie did wilful destruction of his friendship group. It finally comes out, eventually. Archie and co drink and plan to meet up at the diner every year. Archie joins the army in 1 day.

There are serious implications. This was of very poor quality. Archie has dogmatic unwillingness to be sensible. Others try to embrace change or to entertain new or different ideas. This ep serves no useful purpose. This was a great disappointment. There is no stark reality of Covid. There is fuss and weary resignation. This was not balanced or realistic. There are insurmountable challenges. This was not perfectly wrought.

Jughead's friends unthinking behaviour causes him further anguish. Cheryl goes on about fixing her family name. Veronica can't support Archie. Cheryl and her galpal have issues. This was full of banalities. Jughead finally notices Betty's weirdness. Tensions are exacerbated when Betty confesses. Jughead needs to get punitive. Archie is reckless and adversarial. Archie is a disaster. Betty and Veronica face off.

Archie is worthless and doesn't apologise. Jughead and Archie sit at a remote bus-stop and discuss Archie's betrayal. This was ludicrous and absurd. Betty drives a 1950s jalopy. Archie deserves condemnation. The jalopy has no seatbelts. Archie calls Veronica his girl and then heads off on the old fashioned bus. Cheryl recalls burning down her family's ancestal mansion. Betty and Jughead break up. This was crass.

Jughead moves into Archie's house which is for sale. Jughead shows up for the reunion but no one else does. Jughead wouldn't see his friends for 6 years. A new crisis and mystery would draw them together. Poor Jughead, no one bothers with him.

Best Lines:

“Darkness that lived in some of those people.”

“Doomed to be haunted by this town for the rest of our lives?”

“Dead teens walking.”

“I get no pleasure in telling you this.”

“Steeped in violence.”

“Era of tragedy.”

“Slightly boring town.”

“Josie's cat ears.”

“Found no-one deserving of you.”

“I won't sit here and support this.”

“Headed towards my future.”

“Where no Jones man had gone before.”

“You never shall.”

“Straight up lunacy.”

Family Plot

This ep quickly pales into irrelevance. A nebulous 'them' has sinister intent toward rich Stephen McHattie. 2 PI's look into the case. This was not harrowing. Tragic and inevitable things happen. Frightening claims are made. This was highly objectionable. This was not good. There is no totem against uncertainity. There are nefarious agents. There is a paternity rumour. There is murder and the malicious power of enemies. This was bad.

Best Lines:

No tolerance for human fraility.”

“Stole all my toothfairy money.”

“Just because we live under the same roof doesn't make us family.”

The C, The C, The Open C

Charles Darwin the wife abusing crap author helps Franklin's wife seek funds for a rescue mission. An intrepid rescue msison. Bodies are burnt. Somebody eats his boot leather and old wounds reopen. People grow beards and where's Lady Silence? There is no reasonable logic.

The Northwest Passage is found by a doomed man. Men brood. Things get all cannibal holocaust and Hickey and co eat long pig off china with nice cutlery. The surgeon broods. FitzJames dies. There is no cold breath. There is death and betrayal and this was amazingly bad with fake snow.

Best Lines:

“Lost heroes.”

“Such grief would come to us.”

“Tins of mystery.”

“A street dog?”

“Rather urgent circumstances.”

“It'll get worse this.”

“Year of the falling stars.”

“Great unforgivable things.”

“Howling spectacle of sin.”

“They never asked me to join them again.”

“I'm hungry and I want to live.”

“Finally sound frightened.”

“I dare not go up.”

“Headfirst in a compost heap.”

We Are Gone

Crozier's battered. How does Hickey have FitzJames' boots? This was militantly awful and a dreadful thing and it was ill-judged. The sick are left behind with tins – how do they open them? There is existential gloom. There is death and there is an obvious dummy and people eat long pig like it is steak tartare. There are impenetrable happenings. The Enterprise and Investigator look for Franklin and co. Hickey is stubbornly obnoxious. Crozier and co drag a boat. There is absurdist happenstance. This was formulaic po-faced costume drama. There is visceral violence. Hickey prances in his underwear. Hickey goes on about the sandwich islands. The ice is obviously a set. Hickey the jackhole finally dies. There is bad CGI. Was the monster a man? A wendigo? There is unsanitary medicine.

Crozier sees ruined camps, uneaten tins and everyone is dead. Books are left lying around. There is a dead seal. There are frozen men and a man with chains in his face. Crozier ends up in an Inuit village. This goes operatic. Crozier finally learns Lady Silence's name – Silna. There is no gritty desperation. There is no modicum of effort. In 1850 Crozier has joined the Inuit and Jared Harris looks like his father.

Best Lines:

“You had a dog turd in your hand.”

“Coven of traitors.”

“Run, you'll die.”

“We're not the heroes of this story.”

“Holy things before us.”

“Our empire is not the only empire.”

“Bugger Nelson!”

“Is God here captain? Any god?”

“I forgive all of them.”

“We were not meant to know of it.”

“Something needs doing.”

“Wants it found, when he still lives.”

“Sick from what he eats.”

“I detect a double menaing there.”

“Hold yourself to the standard of a man you are not.”

“Alone is the way for her now.”

Tags: riverdale, thoughts

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