epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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Discovery3x12+A Teacher1x01&1x02 +RevolutionOfTheDaleks+Serpent1x01+Emerald City 1x01 +The Great1x01

There Is A Tide...

Osyraa has seized Discovery and is not subtle about her moral standing. Paul and Tilly must automatically be wrong. This was unremittingly grim. How can Osyraa and co over-ride Discovery's OS? One can't find the same level of engagment. The dick from 3x01 returns and mocks Tilly's crappy captaining.


The transwarp corridor is full of debris. Where did the tentacles go? Is Grudge okay? Book and Burnham play at 'Die Hard'. Paul's useless. There is no benign explanation for the green bitch's activity. Vance is an idiot. Some beardy creep gets strangled by Michael's thighs. The green bitch Osyraa prances. How did Burnham not bleed to death from her injury? Burnham is space jesus.


Who is the Federation president? The green bitch claims to want peace with the UFP. Why can't they replicate the spore drive? Alien opera plays. Humans and Orions can have children? What is with the appearing and disappearing phaser? This was dull and boring. Where does the UFP get fruit? It's replicated.


A deep space station has been trading with the Emerald Chain. Where are the Ferengi and Klingons in this future? Osyraa waves an armstice. It's in English. Tilly is not listened to. Why is beardy in a floating chair? Paul talks and talks and Ryn dies, but of course they do. Paul is rampantly selfish. Michael has to nerve pinch Paul to stop him being a burk.


Vance wants Osyraa tried for her crimes. She won't sacrifice anything. Why does Vance called the Chain a great society? She doens't listen. Book offers up the Nebula's dilithium planet. Paul whines and distorts the cliffhanger of season 2. Jake Weber guest stars and Paul whines more.


Best Lines:

“Realise how inept you are and beg us to keep you.”


“Greatest scientist in 3 sectors.”


“I'm in hostile territory.”


“We just let her in the front door.”


“Our culture is fundamentally valid and ethical.”


“Respond with force.”


“Lose a head.”


“A human face of course.”


“Every empire falls.”


“Remain where we once were.”


“Symbol of hope.”


“Your skull be my candy dish.”


“Oxygen purge.”


“Never eaten a real apple.”


“Pretty good for sh*t.”


“Keep him alive and make him wish otherwise.”


“If things go well and I hope they do.”


“Another distant future.”


“87 years.”

“Not by choice.”


“Not always pleasant.”


“Technology was free and travel was easy.”


“Saw potential in me.”


“Threatened them with famine.”


“How we make progress.”


“Clouds our moral clarity.”


“Destroy what is left of the Federation.”


“Came to the future for you.”


“Gave up everything!”


“If somebody falls we keep going.”


“All you have is fear. No one is feared forever.”


~
A Teacher (2020) 1x01&1x02

Kate Mara is a teacher; married and dissatisfied and given to shoplifting. People mumble. The school is called Westerberg? Like in 'Heathers'. A teen boy has yob friends and fancies his teacher. There is bad music and she is wholly culpable for the spiral in fortunes that will happen so rapidly soon. This was boring. She and her prey go to a frat party. They kiss. Ew.


~
Doctor Who: Revolution Of The Daleks (2021)

So no UNIT or Torchwood? An evil woman in a layaby cafe kills a poor truck driver. There is a Dalek. John Barrowman and his new face and Chris Noth guest star. There is no mention of Covid and the UK use Daleks as security. FFS. Noboody recognises it as a Dalek? The Doctor is in an alien prison. How? For how long?


Where's the other Doctor? A weeping angel and various other baddies are seen. The Dalek/prototype security drone is ominious. The 3 companions lurk. Captain Jack shows up, he'd like prison: lots of discipline and you get to wear a uniform. What has Barrowman done to his face?! Was Jack in that jail for 19 years?


A new PM doens't last long. Leo is Noth's sidekick. Leo finds organic remnants in the machine and uses to clone a baby Dalek. The Tardis has changed and she has a spare one. HOW? The Doctor and Jack escape the Judoon prison. Jack has no shame. The Doctor never looks up Donna. The Doctor's mouth hangs open. Barrowman's face is unrecognisible from his days on 'Arrow'.


Rose is mentioned. Noth has Dalek drones 3D printed. People visit Japan. Jack goes on about being ditched by the Doctor. A Dalek clone farm is found. The Doctor has obvious veneers and Jack gets a Dalek to the face. The VFX is so bad. WTF is a death particle? What about the Master? Rubber monsters swarm. Dalek's were fed humans. Why is the Dalek doing a baddie speech?


What is a recon Dalek? The PM gets exterminated as do others. There is death and more Daleks. Why do Daleks need ships at all? WTF are death squad Daleks? Chris Noth's character does something dumb. Daleks can fly? Daleks are very fond of extermination. Daleks fight. The phrase SAS Daleks is used, I think they mean SS Daleks which is way too tasteless for even this show. The Daleks refuse any offer of mercy. Daleks do excoriation. The Doctor has a spare Tardis? What is the void? There is exposition.


Chris Noth's character, Jack Robertson, is hailed as a hero and wants to be POTUS. There is a Gwen mention, Jack hangs out with her. She's still a bitch. 2 companions leave. Ryan is Graham's grandson? This was cobblers, bollocks, cobblers.


Best Lines:

“You can't eat the cage. Believe me, I've tried.”


“He's in league with a Dalek.”


“Most deadly creature in the universe.”


“This is hard innit.”


“Have you had work done?”

“You're one to talk.”


“Be grateful.”


“Shown something I couldn't have anymore.”


“You don't get to choose when it stops.”


“Hard way to live.”


“I've missed you, very much.”


“Live in the worry.”


“This is why people don't like experts.”


“I was in space jail.”


“Most evil killing machine in the universe.”


“You seem to need a lot of praise.”

“Do I?”


“Dalek means hate. Daleks are creatures of hate and aggression. Daleks are insidious, relentless and clever.”


“More sorry than I can ever really say.”


“They became unnecessary.”


“Converted into that.”


“Daleks do not joke.”


“Planet-threatening.”


“Death squad Daleks.”


“The ship you never want to see arriving on your planet.”


“For a race born out of mutation, they're pretty obsessed with purity.”


“Daleks do not need allies!”


“You are unimportant.”


“Take me to your leader.”


“I have Dalek issues.”


“Can I blow it up?”


“Cyber-dudes.”


“Stop talking weird.”


“Marauding through Earth's skies.”


“Daleks are not pets of the Doctor!”


“Terrible rescue!”


“You will not escape us Doctor!”

“Yes I will! Everytime!”


“There's a long way between squatting in a Japanese lab and subjugating humanity!”


~
The Serpent (2021) 1x01

A BBC1 take on a French serial killer in the 1970s. The nutjob and his willing ally girlfriend rob and poison backbackers. Nobody cares as the victims are bums. The clothes and interior design are hideous. There are silly fake French accents. There are grim choices andd the galpal is not tormented by her decisions. There is mumbling and who are these people? Officals are uncaring and people are mumbling.


This show is a blight. This was not sinister. There is female fate and male privilege. This was sombre and not menacing. Things go awry. This was plain wrong and not oppressive and people are malcontents. This was superficial and there are vicious murders. People mock long hairs and make clog jokes.


There is no ominious dread and this was horribly wrong. This was detestable, bombastic and tiresome. People are egocentric and this bodes ill. There are shaming comments and people seriously intone. This was nasty business and there is no dread or unease. People face tragic fates. People are grim faced. There is grotesquerie and misbehaviour. This was dull, absurd and artifical.


Best Lines:

“Work shy hobos!”


“Long haired bums.”


“Americans do not prosper in this part of the world.”


“Another reckless westener who took drugs and went swimming.”


~
The Beast Forever

This 2017 show has incredible similarities to 'Tin Man'. This stars Oliver Jackson-Cohen, Joely Richardson and Vincent D'Onofrio. Dorothy Gale has a face like cystitis and she and this show seem improbably stupid and extravagently pointless. DG has dull suprise acting. She is swept up in a storm and sent to Oz.


A police dog becomes Toto. She sees an alien sky and TPTB find joy in mundanity. There are cataclysmic events and the munchkins are different and homicidal lunatics. This was oppressive tedium and it lacked in nuance. There was mumbling and dark deeds haunt Oz. The wizard looks like Orson Welles after a glue and gin bender.


There are flying monkeys and what is the Beast Forever? It takes DG 2 tries to kill the Wicked Witch Of The West. Emerald City is seen and it does not impress. There is some nightmare imagery in this show. The Wicked Witch Of The West took malicious amusement. The Yellow Brick Road is seen. DG encounters the scarecrow (Jackson-Cohen). What accent is he doing? He's messed up. Is that sword his? How did he get cleaned up? There is no water! There are no ruby slippers but there are jewelled gauntlets.


DG names the scarecrow Lucas and is that close to doing it with him in the middle of the Yellow Brick Road. I've no idea what is going on or why. There is bleak despair and the Wicked Witch Of The West had petty meanness. There are malign consequences and this was derisive. Glinda is boring. L. Frank Baum is credited way into the end credits and WTF was this?


Best Lines:

“Toto is dog.”


“So pretty and so stupid.”


“In Oz, nothing good comes from the sky.”


“I wished I was more.”


“Munja'kin village.”


“Make sure it stays fallen.”


“I'm sorry.”

“You should be.”


~
The Great

The empress allegedly banged more times than a garden gate on a windy night is the focus of this 2020 show. Catherine marries the vile Peter. There is brief sex and a dead mother kept in a cabinet and a mistress. Catherine wants to open a school. There is no library. Peter changes his mind about the school and shoots her bear and hits her and tries to kill her. She plots. This was okay.


Best Lines:

“She gave me a twig! She's not another inbred is she?”


“Pay, endlessly.”


“I am mostly kind to you.”


“You don't talk my love.”


“Thinking part of running the country.”


“Morning troubles.”


“I have banned beards.”


“Disdainful and hurt.”


“Men's things.”


“Speak of hats.”

Tags: doctor who, emerald city, hill house, review, star trek
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