epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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Movie Reviews: The Beguiled (2017) + Christmas Crossfire

The Beguiled (2017)

This is another unnecessary remake. It tries to be an extraordinarily bleak descent into awfulness. Set during the US civil war, elemental evil lives in a boarding school. The sanitized southern belles spew hatred of yankees. This was underdeveloped and women have impenetrable malice. This has tonal ineffectiveness and a carnival of depravity unfolds. But somehow it is all unwatchably boring!


Best Lines:

“That's how we lost most of our chickens.”


“He's not going to be here long enough for his name to make any difference to us.”


~
Christmas Crossfire (2020)

This German 'comedy' is unwatchable. It is dubbed and has no coherent miseries. There are endless dramas and this was a Tarantino knockoff. Already dated. This was a dubious experience and it is irrelevant and it was appalling and lamentable and blandly nasty.


Best Lines:

“Never forget it until you're 6 feet under.”


“I only sleep with guys in coats like that when the police are after me.”


“Why read in English?”

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