epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: The Beguiled (2017) + Christmas Crossfire

The Beguiled (2017)

This is another unnecessary remake. It tries to be an extraordinarily bleak descent into awfulness. Set during the US civil war, elemental evil lives in a boarding school. The sanitized southern belles spew hatred of yankees. This was underdeveloped and women have impenetrable malice. This has tonal ineffectiveness and a carnival of depravity unfolds. But somehow it is all unwatchably boring!

Best Lines:

“That's how we lost most of our chickens.”

“He's not going to be here long enough for his name to make any difference to us.”

Christmas Crossfire (2020)

This German 'comedy' is unwatchable. It is dubbed and has no coherent miseries. There are endless dramas and this was a Tarantino knockoff. Already dated. This was a dubious experience and it is irrelevant and it was appalling and lamentable and blandly nasty.

Best Lines:

“Never forget it until you're 6 feet under.”

“I only sleep with guys in coats like that when the police are after me.”

“Why read in English?”

Tags: movie review

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