Rebecca (1997) part 1
This ITV drama stars Charles Dance, Faye Dunaway and Diana Rigg in this take on the novel. Dance takes up with a woman half his age. As Max De Winter, Dance is an angry doddering cranky old git. Max proposes marriage in the most creepy domestic abuser fashion. He contols what she wears and the make up she does and does not use. This was boring, soapy and daft.
“Such a future holds no terrors for you.”
“Boredom of the company.”
An Innocent Man
Why did Oliver trust that list so much? Oliver does inexcusable errors of judgment. Why is Laurel always hanging around the revenge driven psychopath Oliver? Diggle quits. Oliver has nefarious purposes and Oliver and Tommy's relationship never recovered from Oliver's crap. Thea encourages Oliver to screw Laurel who is dating Tommy. Also a man was framed for murder.
How did Moira get the Queen's Gambit from the South China Sea to a warehouse? Laurel waves a gun and does not recognise Oliver's voice. The man would not get out of jail that fast. Also Oliver is arrested. Oliver is not his better self, he makes tragic decisions. There are no incalculable threats and Oliver wants to right great injustices by killing people.
Did TPTB plan to have Oliver as a vigilante and Laurel as a lawyer both fighting crime? Well that didn't work did it? Enemies would rise to challenge Oliver. What is wrong with Oliver's neck in this ep? There is resentment and malice. Felicity rants and Diggle's brother Andy is brought up. What is Tempest? John Barrowman guest stars. There are narrative shenanigans and Oliver yelling. This was a low pleasure. There is a prison riot and nothing of consequence happens. Oliver killed a bird on the island. A start of darkness!
“We argued! Very loudly! Yes!”
Oliver set up his own arrest and trial to deflect attention from the fact he is the vigilante. It's not going to be his first trial for being the hood. Laurel represents him. Laurel is rapid. A Deathstroke lookalike prances on the island. John Barrowman and his massive chin cleft lurks and smugs. Why does Oliver provoke Lance? Why does Laurel pant over the man who ruined her family?
Oliver is not psychologically interesting. Tommy barely features. Sarah's 'death' is mentioned so casually. On the island Oliver had a mentor to teach the unaware twit. Lance was right about Oliver. Why was Oliver's vigilante activity a secret he could never reveal to Tommy? Until he did? Oliver parties. Lance's concern is not unreasonable. He's narky.
Lance's constant condemnation of Oliver was right. Oliver does problematic behaviour. This was good. Oliver has no self reproach. Why does he lie to everyone? He has no ethical responsibilities and is entirely without remorse. Oliver doesn't maintain social bonds. There are no assurances and why is Oliver still trying to seduce Laurel when he knows she's dating Tommy?
Oliver has no impressive foresight and it is leading to his own ruin. Laurel's proud of her trivial achievements and Oliver is malicious and nasty. There were awful circumstances on the island. Why does Laurel obsess over Oliver who cheated on her constantly? Oliver will ultimately pay for his toxicity and error strewn choices. Oliver has violent aspects and Tommy has needs and expectations.
Oliver's lost all sense of reason. Terrible events are to come. How did Moira marry Walter when Robert was only MIA for 5 years? Walter is sick of his lying wife. What became of Walter? Oliver was vile to Walter the CFO turned hubby. Charges against Oliver are dropped. Walter leaves. Oliver did a string of blunders with Tommy and never apologised. Oliver murders someone with pitiless intensity.
“Some Robin Hood wannabe.”
“Something untoward about your family?”
“You didn't count on so many people having questions.”
“Why don't you hate me?”
“Dies mysteriously in a car accident.”
“Lying to you so convincingly.”
“Told her what she needed to hear.”
This was okay. Tommy calls Thea his sister – she is. Why is Oliver working out shirtless? Why won't Oliver talk about the island? Oliver doesn't care about bank robberies. Tommy helps the thankless Laurel and she is useless and bitchy. Oliver is a bitch faced jerk. Laurel always sounds like a bitch. Oliver has made a broken mess of his life. Laurel is the worst. Where does Oliver get his trick arrows? Thea likes Tommy. Laurel flirts with another man in front of Tommy.
Katie Cassidy as Laurel seems vapid and talentless and full of arrogant delusion. She's inconsistent and illogical and has no mysterious allure. What is with Oliver's reaction of awe to her? And Tommy's yearning? Oliver accured horrifying and glorious memories and total despair on the island as well as villainous intent.
“I don't fight street crime!”
“I turned my son into this!”
On The Brink
Lucas was misplaced in Moscow for 8 years. What TPTB did to him later was vile. Banks are in peril and Ros is undercover. TPTB ruined Lucas by turning him into a villain protagonist. This was a lamentable and worthless bit of nonsense. Connie plays Harry who finds it utterly incumbent to be an ass. Lucas has characteristic tenacity. Ros is a hatchet faced harridan. Lucas wears a nice suit and looks like a GQ mole. A deranged mind plots. The Russian mafia is involved. How is Lucas still alive after 17 straight days of that? Lucas has blue eyes.
“About to do something.”
“Unleashed a rumour.”
“Pathetic, self-interested little man!”
“Loans from a mafia bank.”
“Some declaration of love.”
The Rules Of Engagement
Harry is in peril. Lucas heads to Moscow. Someone absails through Harry's window to arrest him, a bit over-dramatic. Harry is interrogated in hilariously OTT campy fashion. Lucas makes contact in a stripclub. Lucas unmasks Connie and fights a man in a kitchen. Connie slits someone's throat. This was okay.
“You're all tainted!”
“Die in the most obscure and impoverished igniomy that we are capable of heaping on anyone.”
When Sparks Fly
Who is the darklighter's master? Karoke is sung and this was purgative. I'll skip 2x08. This makes the original show look like the work of Orson Welles. This reboot would benefit from never having been seen by anyone at all, ever.
There are no emotional highs and lows. Jordan is a massive tool. There is a bad Irish accent. There is poker and hellflame. One feels total contempt for this. Harry kills the assassin, or does he? This was full of low creatures.
“Capable of things you and I cannot even fathom.”
“Need to get him alone and touch him everywhere.”
“Skip right to the unpleasantness.”
“My swanky place.”
“Keep you dead.”
“You want things to be fair, how dreadfully boring.”
Mel finally notices that Kat has cracked up. Parker shows up. Why do the bimbos believe a word Abigael says? Abigael lies that Parker is the overlord. Abigael can't act and talks in a stupid bimbo way. This was throughly unpleasant. Parker dresses like a failed heavy metal star. This was horrible.
Abigael needs to die. Maggie's dumb. Parker and Maggie get it on. There is screeching and a curse. There is ruination and this pales into insignificance. There are stupid chocies and Kat leaves. This was unredeemably crap.
“To what could have been.”