epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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Movie Reviews: Hungerford+American Fright Fest+The Exorcist III+Life Of The Party+Giant Claw+Blob

Hungerford (2014)

A malign influence attacks a small town in this UK horror. Is the influence ominious and otherworldy? This was found footage and the unrest and turmoil takes place offscreen. This was mediocrity. There is yelling. Some guy with boyband hair is a malignant influence himself. Nobody is magnanimous. This had inherent laziness and a wholesale failure.


A cop waves a shotgun, in the UK. There is bad weather and self-aggrandizing people. They've a hyper obsession with filming themselves. One actively feels distain for this and them. This was not incredibly capable or sincere. There is no intense disquiet. There is no fateful turning point. The burks feel they have the right to comment. There is unending predictability.


There is bad acting and this was cheap with axes waved. There is blood and screaming and will they stop filming? Are the attackers zombies? Alien zombies? There is bad VFX and this was BAD. There is disagreeable wickedness and transgressions and unrighteous veniality. This had a lack of grace and revelation of character. There is mumbling.


This does not leave you rapt. There is no grave concern. This was dreadful with no caring or passion. There are selective rants and this was useless and unnecessary. This was enraging and there is audacity and it was not fraught or complex. There are violent frustrations and a random shopping cart signals disorder.


There is no emotional resonance. There is no gloomy regret. There is a factory and tepid storytelling. There is no original worldbuilding. There are many irritations. This was not wholly effective. Are there aliens? This was disastrous.


Best Lines:

“Don't have time for all this nonsence.”


“Trust you to bring drugs!”


“Kick it in!”


~
American Fright Fest (2018)

This was low budget, cheap and ugly looking. Dylan Walsh plays a famous horror director. This was not highly atmospheric and it was not anything.


~
The Exorcist III (1990)

We see the steps, the fog and hear a brief moment of Tubular Bells. Jason Miller and Geroge C. Scott and Brad Dorif star in this unwanted sequel that was written and directed by William peter Blatty. It's 15 years since the McNeil case.


Nicol Williamson also features. Despite falling down the longest steps in horror movie history Damien Karras (Miller) is alive, sorta, and possessed by a serial killer. Larry King and Fabio appear in cameos. There is weird imagery and Scott emoting furiously. There is an annoying screaming nurse and death and big scissors and bad acting. This was bad and wildly unlikely.


Best Lines:

“Nothing's normal about that man.”


“Begetter of death.”


“Only the darkness here.”


“Numbing of the moral sense.”


~
Life Of The Party (2018)

This was a totally unsatisfactory, shockingly poor and appalling Melissa McCarthy 'comedy'. She's a house frau in a bad wig and her husband is an uncaring jerk who leaves her for a predatory schemer ho. She has despairing rage and her ex has spiteful fervour. This lacks a coherent plot


She doesn't possess any obvious qualifications. Her geek macho soon to be ex husband and bimbo bother her. They try to sell her house from under her. He leaves a trail of destruction for which he never has to take no responsibility. There is havoc in this ineffective mess. Her divorce is not a grave matter for her brat daughter. The mother goes back to college with her daughter. This was truly dreadful tosh.


This was deplorable. She's desperate. This was awful and falters. This was pathetic and she is unravelling. This was cringe making. There are grievances and inertia. The ex has a corrosive effect. There is sheer desperation and negative reactions and lecturing arrogance.


The daughter is bitchy and there is a 'star' cameo. This was not fascianting. Julie Bowen plays the homewrecking skank. The mother is particularly riled and dithering and this was semi-parodic.


Best Lines:

“Snackish.”


“Save your receipts.”


“You are not shooting Dan!”


“He's hateable.”


“I can't believe you shacked up with a bitch.”


“You look like Orson Welles had a stroke and stayed that way!”


~
The Giant Claw (1957)

A giant space bird attacks. French Canadians blubber and the line “I'll never call my mother in law an old crow again” is actually uttered. The space bird looks like a dried turd. People are ordered on lockdown to avoid the space turd. The poor space turd is killed. The end. This was dated.


Best Lines:

“In the sense that we understand eating?”


“Creature from the skies.”


~

The Blob (1958)

Steve McQueen's movie debut. He plays a teenager despite looking like he is 45! This has an upbeat goofy theme song. The blob looks like jam. This was so silly.


Best Lines:

“Always some shooting or screaming!”


“Fool town!”


“Most horrible thing I've ever seen in my life!”

Tags: movie review, the exorcist
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