Far From Home
It;'s the 32nd century. Discovery don't know until the end of the ep that it took them a year to catch up with Michael. Discovery has crashed onto an ice planet. How is there crew onboard? I guess the Section 31 show isn't happening. Saru is captain. Discovery is battered. There are no seat belts. The VFX is worse than the scene in 'Voyager' when Voyager crashed onto an ice planet. The show is blue tinged and where is Ash?
We see an alien whose head looks like an ass. Discovery can't fly or call for help. What became of Lorca's tribble? The crushing reality is that the galay now sucks. The crew are resolute. We see someone welding while using a face visor. So there is health and safety in the future. The galaxy has lost its original purpose. The emperor is on board. She killed Control.
There is blood and Paul is shirtless. The crew have enormous limitations. The emperor's unreasoning fanaticism goes on. What about the mushroom network? One doctor looks like he is wrapped in clingfilm. The medbay is way fancier than McCoy's. Will Paul go away? Why does the navigator's hair regrow around her implant? What is wrong with her?
Where did the Emperor get her blue eyeliner? Poor dead Leland has to be shoveled out of the place where he died. Nobody mourns Leland. There's a starfleet logo on the hazmat box. How can Sarus and Tilly just stroll out of the ship? The ice is parasitic. What was the societal effect of the collapse of the UFP?
There is a saloon with old west style doors. There is no cultural integrity in the future. Saru and Tilly don't know if they've made the right decision. There is no public affection for Tilly. We see funny forehead aliens. Programmable matter is a thing in the future.
Why is a baddie wearing spurs? The baddie du jour is played by Jake Weber from 'Dawn Of The Dead', 'The Following' and 'American Gothic'. A friendly guy is not so friendly. Time travel is easily recognised. So where are the Klingons in the 32nd century? What is the common tongue? There are 88 crewmembers on Discovery. Where there padds in the 'TOS' era? Tilly is useless and there is a bar fight.
Are we seriously meant to take ice as a threat? ICE? There's a red cross logo on the doctor's combadge. That's not the starfleet medical logo. The baddie is vile. The VFX in this ep are so lame. Discovery is rescuced. The baddie is got rid of. Or is he? Michael has grown her hair out. What is up with Keyla Detmer (Emily Coutts)? Bryce preens. This was okay.
“Brace! Brace! Brace!”
“Ice is 50 metres thick.”
“We don't know where we are.”
“How hard we hit.”
“When we are.”
“You have some Leland on your shoes.”
“Somebody had to make sure he was dead.”
“Gooey bits of him everywhere.”
“We cannot assume we are welcome.”
“When are we?”
“Command training manual.”
“930 years on us.”
“Certain past events.”
“Their cultural standards.”
“How many drugs are you on right now?”
“If you breathe, you can work.”
“We're odd and strange.”
“Not to each other.”
“She thinks I'm useless.”
“That's a fun new sound.”
“Where fun goes to die.”
“To not have fear.”
“Always believed you would come.”
“You should have stayed adrift.”
“High energy gamma rays.”
“There's no implied choice.”
“You don't have up to date tech.”
“Not permit your tyranny to stand.”
“But here it is: standing.”
“Did I interrupt a critical moment of diplomacy?”
“Big ship fall from the sky.”
“You gotta mouth but I gotta gun.”
“What you call pain, I call foreplay.”
“You will not harm him further.”
“I don't know. I'm on drugs.”
“That sacrifice was not for this!”
“Welcome to the future.”
“I've been looking for so long.”
Recall when this show was good and wasn't Felicity and friends? Oliver lit his arrow on fire by scrapping it on a rock? What was in the bonfire that made it explode? Oliver voiceovers and lies. He was in the North China Sea. Oliver returns home and tells disturbing lies to his friends and family and manipulates them. In the past Oliver got drunk and fought the paparazzi. Robert Queen has been dead since 2007. Oliver could care less about the other man who was in the liferaft.
Oliver had 12 fractures which seem to have healed just fine and never stopped his 'hero' career. Nobody offers Oliver therapy. Colin Donnell plays Tommy. There is no Felicity in this ep thank god. Sarah is played by a different actress and her name has a h, all that changed come season 2. Moira Queen was a monster. Stately Luthor Manor is the Queen manor. Oliver's stepfather Walter who vanished never to be seen again shows up. Oliver is friendly with the maid who also vanished.
Thea who never met a crop top she didn't wear lurks. Oliver claims to care about Thea but obsessed over Laurel and later Felicity. Where did Laurel's CNRI coworker go? Why is Laurel orange? 7 people died when the Queen's Gambit sank. Nobody asked where Oliver's tattoos came from. He has abs and PTSD. Sarah was a bimbo and Robert didn't object to his son cheating. Well both he and Moria cheated and had love children. Oliver says Tommy Merlyn's full name when he shows up or rather it is obviously dubbed in.
Oliver went to college but never graduated. Oliver is rude. Sarah had fake lips and how did she survive plunging into the North China Sea at night in her underwear during a storm? Oliver slept on the floor by an open window – actions he later walked off. Where did he get his arrow case? Thea and her junkie friend hang out. Her junkie friend and habit vanished. Were TPTB hinting at Tommy and Thea? Did TPTB plan to make them half siblings at this point? Tommy doesn't care about the poors. Tommy drives a fancy car.
Oliver was a bad friend to Tommy. Later seasons Oliver - who was utterly whipped by Felicity - is a fool and a joke and he had one emotion: anger. This was supposed to be a show about Oliver/Laurel/Tommy. Laurel went to law school. How did she pay for that? Laurels' face changed so much in later seasons. There is no Laurel/Oliver spark – it's like striking a blunt match against damp cardboard. Why didn't the Lance family file a wrongful death lawsuit against the Queens? Why didn't Oliver apologise to Lance for getting Sarah killed? He just gurns at him. How did golddigger Laurel and Oliver meet?
Moira set her son and Tommy up to be aducted. Was Tommy really unconscious? When did Oliver learn parkour? Tommy is tall, dark and handsome. Is Lance the only cop in Starling city? Why wasn't Oliver a better friend to Tommy? Where is Malcolm Merlyn during all this? How did Oliver vanish from a moving car? Oliver creates his lair. Where did he get the computers and wifi and arrow and workout equipment? And how did he get them into a basement? Oliver works out. Where did he get his arsenal and the hood? Why did he wilfully destory his camaradrie with Tommy?
What became of Adam Hunt? Where did Lance's partner go? Where did Oliver get his smartphone? Laurel pants over Oliver despite dating Tommy. Oliver pushes people away. Laurel wears a tiny skirt. Oliver murders people and where did he get the eye paint and how did he clean it off? Lance insults Tommy. Nobody took the arrow out of Adam Hunt's wall? Tommy loves Laurel and she was an utter whore slut to him. Laurel's full name is Dinah Laurel Lance. This was good. Laurel would become irredeemable when she boffed Oliver and broke Tommy's heart and a week after Tommy died because of her, she made out with Oliver at Tommy's funeral.
“Dreampt of rescue every cold black night since then.”
“One thought, one goal: survive.”
“Regular tabloid presence...Starling City club scene.”
“That is not going to finish well.”
“Mr ivy league dropout.”
“Thank you daddy's ACL tear.”
“Not like you to read the book.”
“Your cute friend's here.”
“Best for you not to speak about it. To anyone. Ever.”
“I'm going to take it and you won't like how.”
“Millionaire bottom feeder.”
“Nutbar in a green hood.”
“What happened to you on the island?”
Dead To Rights
Oliver murders more people. Lord I hate Felicity. Diggle takes up space. John Barrowman guest stars. Oliver is a car crash disaster. What became of McKenna? Oliver turned Tommy against him by the end of the season and didn't seem to care and never said sorry. It all begins here. Malcolm bothers Tommy on his birthday. Malcolm was abusive to Tommy and never expressed regret. There is overcooked zaniness. Malcolm has a plastic face.
Deadshot and China White bore. Oliver is a toxic friend who Tommy has reservoirs of patience for. Malcolm's undertaking was ridiclious. Who needed 2 earthquake machines? Just use fertilizer. Oliver destroyed Tommy's attempts to be happy. Oliver is irritating and this was not profound or insightful.
Oliver is poisonous and self obsessed and consistently unsympatheitc. Oliver has no time for Felicity's babbling. Who raised Tommy when Merlyn abandoned him for 2 years at age 8? Why didn't Oliver invite Tommy into his gang? So much could have been different. Felicity was despicable. Tommy tolerates Oliver because hey, they're best friends. Malcolm would lose his family, wealth and respect and name due to his stupid revenge plot. Malcolm had a 'panic room' in his office where he kept his Dark Acher getup. Tommy sees a whole other side of his dad. Malcolm came so close in this ep to telling Tommy about the undertaking. Twice he nearly told him, so much would have different if he had.
Oliver has to reveal his identity to Tommy to save Malcolm. Oh Oliver, you liar. Oliver knows how to do blood transfusions. Why wasn't he going to tell Tommy? Oliver ruined everything. Oliver slept with the woman Tommy loved. This was preposterously silly. Tommy developed grave reservations about his friend in this ep. Oliver has deep and ingrained personal bias and malice and likes to shout obnoxious accusations. This was staggeringly implausible and Oliver is peculiarly irritating. Oliver apportions blame and is a malign figure. Oliver's shouted threats and later terrible decisions would lead to Tommy's death.
“How did it go?”
“Badly. For him.”
“Purpose for my life.”
“Shoot down a commeircal airliner.”
“Cobalt level encryptian.”
How Well Do You Really Know Javier?
Sofia malciously and knowingly riles Javier by hanging out with the vile Raul. This is another of the cumulative incidents of her being the worst. One doesn't even take a mild interest in what's going on. Sofia's mother is sick of her crap and wiles. Sofia is unusually judgmental. The thief is a drug dealer and ho now. People are calculating and emotionally indifferent. The devastating fallout of the hacker goes on.
There is toxic meaning and weird obsessions. Sofia is awful. There are distressing incidents and trepidation. Raul's a jerk. This was fusty. Sofia is so stupid and Raul is obviously pernicious. The principle plots. Will Sofia shut up? Javier's dad lurks. Javier is accused and there is pain and anger. Javier's dad is mean. Raul is such a lying jerk. Is someone pregnant? Raul and Sofia break into Javier's locker. Raul is so obviously the bad guy.
There are very public disasters. Sofia lives in a huge house. Sofia's dad isn't dead. Sofia has lip filler. Sofia is a dumb slut and shags Raul who is the hacker, like duh.
“Javier plays the good guy and everyone buys it but deep down he's a bully.”
“We know what you did.”
“You're not going to believe me?”
Raul's acts were not the culmination of his social guilt, just his Sofia obsession. We get a lookback at the hacker's origin. There is high school conformism. The lockers are red yet weren't the lockers yellow? Is Raul meant to be forlorn? Secrets cast a deep shadow? Raul is a bitter joke and he caused social damage. One isn't fascinated. This is a grim time. Rich boy Raul had misery and despair. There is demoralising by the thief.
There are decadent execesses. There are grim circumstances. This was not life affirming. This was unremittingly miserable and near unwatchable. Sofia self harmed in class. It is a darkening time. Raul is blissfully frivolous. Raul careers from euphoria to despair. This was creative absurdity. This was not searing. Raul had chilling implacability. Nobody cared that Sofia was cutting in class. Raul is inscrutable and has an accusing tone. This was muddled and not even occasionally gripping. Sofia inspired Raul.
This was banal. This was not a socialist realist think piece. Raul's 'friends' were mendacious. This was lumpen and clunking. Raul is barely able to contain his rage. Greed and avarice and revenge permeate into many aspects of daily life. Raul became a hacker but he did not do it alone. Raul saw Sofia in pain and filmed it for his own amusement. Sofia ended up in an asylum. Raul wilfully misled people. There are aggressive impulses. People mocked Sofia being in an asylum. There is no real world impact. Raul has newfound enthusiasm to be a SJW.
Raul's awful friends are awful. Raul acted like he did it all for Sofia. Raul caused public unrest. Raul wasn't forced to react. There are pointless polemics and calumny. Raul set off a dangerous spiral of confrontation. Raul escalated hostility. Raul is particularly cruel. He has an adversarial nature. Raul deliberately provoked trouble. Why did Sofia's dad fake his death? Raul gaslit Sofia and framed Javier.
“All living lives that aren't real.”
“If everybody stopped lying.”
“With all that money, I'll never stop being his friend.”
“I'm suprised you can read now.”
“What if she attacks you?”
“She can try.”
“Not so cool having a wacko around.”
“If this is the way you treat your friends.”
“Happier if you're gone."