epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
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The Haunting Of Bly Manor (2020) 1x01&1x02 + Des (2020) 1x01 + Tommy (2020) 1x01 Reviewed 👎👎

The Great Good Place

In 2007, a woman comes to a wedding and tells a ghost story. An American comes to London. Some cast members from 'Hill House' play different roles. Oliver Jackson-Cohen lurks. Henry Thomas plays an unfriendly uncle. The opening credits are bad. There is a voiceover at the start that sounds like it is meant to be Irish or a toothless old woman eating tripe.


There is bad old age makeup and grey hair. This starts out dreadfully stupid and gets worse. There is no potentiality and it isn't scary. What is with the fake accents? In London of 1987, a former teacher lives in a youth hostel and covers mirrors and gets an au pair job. How did she go from teacher to au pair? What is in the mirror?


She is to mind the spoilt evil brats Miles and Flora. They have a toxic relationship. This was perfunctory. Why does nobody want the job? Dani the au pair will have a miserable time. The previous job holder died after a love affair gone wrong. Dani probably has no future. She also has lucklessness. It is a particularly bitter time.


Dani is lying. This adapts 'The Turn Of The Screw' and 'A Romance Of Certain Old Clothes'. The UK licence plates are wrong. Who is Owen? There is a bitter aftertaste. Flora has an obviously fake silly plummy accent that grates on the nerves. Why did nobody hire the child a dialect coach? Miles is volatile without consequences. Will Flora shut up? The children are entirely wicked and there are fatalistic perceptions. There is harsh reality and the merciless effects of somehting.



How can Dani not be able to make tea? Mac and cheese is a US snack, not a UK one. Things irrevocably damage peoples longer term opportunities. Are the cook and the housekeeper ghosts or real? The brats are unhelpful and distasteful. Flora expresses disagreement. This was peremptory. There are ad homiem tactics. There is 9 eps of this crap? Oh come on!


This is the scrag end of tv. Flora has a fancy dolls house. They are traumatised by her presence. Dani is openly petrified. This was really annoys and the children are quietly disturbing. This drags on interminably. There is no abject fear.


Dani was a teacher for 9 years? How old is she? There are no immediate and terrible effects. This was truly appalling. There are prank calls. The gardener lurks. People are terrifyingly impressionable. There is no unrelenting focus. There is no mojo or cruel reality. This was nihilistically endless nonsense. This was not suprisingly delightful.


Deluded people fail. Dani is traumatised. People are deranged with despair over a beleaguered existence. The manor is a fetid pit. This was not disconcerting. Miles stares cacantly. There is tweeness and no oddness. There is no relative normality or fearful consequences. The brats lock Dani in a closet. There is emotional froideur. There is no reasonable worry. The closet is massive. Dani should slap the brats and quit. This was a preposterous and soapy and ludicrous narrative. The children are toxic and controlling. This was ridiculous. There is no truthful dialogue or emotional weight.


Best Lines:

“The work of loving them.”


“Do drugs on a beach in Bali.”


“Not exactly short.”


“Classroom experience may actually be of use.”


“Without hint or warning.”


“Highest need children.”


“No one wants the job.”


“I know what loss is.”


“Smelly little pond.”


“Perhaps knock from now on.”


“The other one before you.”


“She's always a little upset.”


“Don't leave your room at night.”


“We're very good children.”


“What came after.”


“Stop being weird Miles!”


“I'm not running from anything...you know it hurts me when you say that.”


The Pupil

Miles is not in any way appropriate. One feels scathing about this show. Why does the rich white brat Miles get away with his crap? Oh wait. Sigh. Miles is a wicked boy and in flashback to 6 months ago he caused a challenging time at his boarding school. This was not remarkable or wildly entertaining. The manor has a cellar and a laundry chute. The plummy Flora is stupid. There is terrible danger. Hostility soars.


Since when do UK schools have flags in the classrooms?!? Miles is at Catholic school. Is he Catholic? There is a chapel in Bly Manor. Miles is unruly and this was a failure. Miles is the worst. Miles is not complying. Miles is filled with hatred. Miles and Flora take everything and gives nothing. There is no quiet drama or emotion. This was not riveting or filled with feeling.


There is casual cruelty. There are confrontational momnets and self serving assertions and this was truly appalling. This was boring and horrendous. This was bonkers. There are worrying misconceptions. A priest had strong concern about Miles. It was a difficult situation. Miles climbs a 'tree' which is an obvious climbing frame. There is such hilariously bad green screen.


There is despondency. There is no indications of intelligence. Miles attacked a kid and got away with it. Miles is a very worrying brat, whom a priest was very concerned about. Miles is a crazy, insane psycho. Miles has deepening instability. People don't talk, they orate. This was frivolous. Miles is vile and he killed the kindly priest's pet dove. He was expelled for that. Why wasn't he arrested for GBH on a fellow pupil and animal abuse? Oh right. Why is this so bad?!?


Best Lines:

“The forbidden wing.”


“Gin is a sad drink.”


“Perfectly dreadful down there.”


“Dead doesn't mean gone.”


“Bad ones get to come back.”


“Had he wronged you in some way?”


~
Des (2020) 1x01

A 3 part ITV drama about Dennis Nilsen who in 1983 was arrested as a serial killer. He was busted because he clogged the drains with human remains. He is arrested and causally admits there are 15 or 16 bodies down the drains. He talks and talks and talks and can't recall the victims names and has uncaring harshnes. The head copper yells. This was okay but so obviously worthy.


Best Lines:

“Talk to you about your drains.”


“He gets away with nothing!”


~
In Dreams Begin Responsibilities

The LAPD hires a police chief after a sex scandal. The LAPD fight ICE. Tommy has a bitch daughter. Tommy berates the bitch daughter for leaving. This bored.


Best Lines:

“This is the relationship you wanted.”


“Don't owe him your silence.”

Tags: hill house, review
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