Murder Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry
This has okay opening credits. This was created by Marc Cherry. This was not bold, brisk, unconventional genius. This follows 3 women in 3 seperates decades who lived in the same house and who were all involved in death.
In 1963 a couple move into a mcmansion. A new couple live in the house in 1984. There are lurid colours and ugly clothes. Another couple move in to the illfated house in 2019. There is no rational approach. Aspersions are cast on thick, useless husbands. This was clumsy and inept. The 1963 wife is a downtrodden housewife. The 1984 wife is a partying socialite who is into ballbusting emasculation. Both their husbands are cheating liars.
There is 80s conspicuous consumption. Women give sex, care and emotional labour. There are toxic manifestations of masculinity unfolding. What happened to the 1963 couple's daughter? Men cheat with absolute impunity. Sinister citizens are anodyne. There is emotional suppression, disparagement, dissonance and the 2019 wife doesn't refrain from taking tradtionally masculine power and authority. There is no ethical importance.
Certain and dreadful events are to come. There is uncertain evil. This was not tumultuous or complex. There are no moral responsibilities. Families unravel. This is not a bleak portrait of families unravelling. There is emotional debt. There is unplaceable sadness. People have sticky looking 1980s barnets in 1984. People stare blankily. Women are not fulfilled and severe in their purpose.
This was not deftly unsettling. There is moral uproar. There is narcissistic fascination and no ghoulish wit. There is endless grotesquerie. I have no idea who kills who or why. There will be unfolding horror, eventually. Lucy Liu, Ginniger Goodwin, Jack Davenport and Alicia Coppola star. Creeps are chatty.
“Best husband I've ever had.”
“Divorcing her because she won't stop drinking.”
“My life is perfect.”
“Sacred institution known as open marriage.”
“So very happy.”
“I will not be humiliated.”
“Those tramps always know!”
“I WANT TO SEE YOU SUFFER IN A ONE BEDROOM APARTMENT NEXT TO THE AIRPORT AND YOU WILL NOT DENY ME THAT PLEASURE!”
I'd Like To Kill Ya, But I Just Washed My Hair
How many people have died in that house? The 1963 wife 'befriends' the floozy who is stealing her husband. People deliver the most outlandish lines with sincerity and conviction. There are many absurdities. This was not truly funny or fascinating.
This was petty. The 1984 wife uncovers how her husband manipulated her and now he's blackmailing her emotionally. The 2019 couple becomes a throuple. I do not care.
“You don't respond to small gestures!”
“Face full of ass.”
“Another love story's ended in murder.”
“Don't, it's pervy.”
“A good burp would have saved you!”
“Mobile sex den.”
“Turned into a French whore.”
“Mikey hit me!”
“What am I? Your bodyguard? Hit him back!”
Not All Men
There are grisly anecdotes and no meancing relish. There is would be woebegone horror and oblique explanations and aghast expressions. There is blubbering. People are less than joyous about a meteor shower. There are one note performances which run the gamuts of emotions from A to B. The plot is doddery. Meteors make men psycho in this inept ep.
There is no magnetic allure. People are despondent and there is no quiet introversion. There are fraught social interactions and contrarian trolls. There is a spiral of misfortune. Confidence in this show is eroded. There is manifest whining. There is no heart of the community. This was a monumental failure. Unsuspecting corners of the community go terribly wrong.
Men are unreasonable and onerous and they wield power with impunity. This was not blistering. Matters are obfuscated in this damingly stupid ep. There are affirmative tones. This was not splendidly brutal. This was super serious and there is no sense of urgency.
“I'm not yelling!”
“Lead a lunatic to my house!”
Picard recalls Data as old fart music plays. This is the 1st scene, I'm not caring. Picard works at his family vineyard and has a dog called Number 1. Boring new characters bore. Picard is a codger and a coot who finally speaks French. Picard has servants. Picard is interviewed on FNN about the Romulan supernova. He is an admiral and an author and he wears a tie. Patrick Stewart has weird line delivery.
Picard tried to lead a Romulan rescue effort and he left the Enterprise. Picard compares it to Dunkirk. Robots destroyed Mars. There is bad acting. Data had more daughters. Oh FFS. Stuff blows up. We finally see the Daystrom Institute, it's in Japan. Alison Pill of 'American Horror Story: Cult' guest stars as do Harry Treadaway, Orla Brady and Merrin Dungey. There is another Data daughter out there. The Romulans have a Borg cube. This was puke.
“Which deception to employ.”
“Mars remains on fire to this day.”
“Nursing my offended dignity.”
“Writing books of history people prefer to forget.”
“Federation's oldest enemy.”
“Tea. Earl Gray. Decaf.”
“Your seperation from Starfleet.”
“Be the captain they remember.”
“Romulan sun was going to explode.”
“Soulless murder machine.”
Maps And Legends
First Contact Day is a thing. We get a flashback to the attack on Mars when the androids turned the orbital defence grid against it for reasons still unknown. There is a secret group within the Tal Shiar. Picard's 2 servants are Romulans. Picard has brain disease of the brain. Picard makes demands on Starfleet. Picard gets sworn at and told to get out. Tamyln Tomita guest stars as a commodore. Picard looks up another former XO. Tomita and another Starfleet Intelligence officer are undercover Romulans. There are new combadges. Picard's old XO Raffi lives in a shack in the wilderness and she dislikes him. Narissa the Romulan agent sneers. This was less pukey than 1x01. Tomita has weird line delivery.
“Mask worn by another far older cabal.”
“Ignore me again at your cost.”
“Once great man.”
“So profound and terrible.”
"Romulans are into drama."
"Overt and intolerable act of war."