epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

  • Mood:
  • Music:

Movie Reviews: Dead End + Alive + The Babysitter: Killer Queen 👎🍿😥

Dead End (2003)

On christmas eve, a bickering venomous family are stuck on an unending road. Secrets so dark come out and death is foretold. It is horrifyingly apparent that they're endlessly reliving something. This was not urgent or impassioned. Everyone has a dash of malice. Ray Wise and Lin Shaye star in this insufficient 'horror'. Dad (Wise) has fearful wrath and the brother is a loser. This was underlit.

Best Lines:

“And I thought last year's christmas was bad.”

“What was wrong with with last year's christmas?!?”

“Well let's see: everything!”

“He jerks off to gun magazines!”

“Screw your mother!”

#Alive (2020)

This dubbed Korean zombie movie is not good. A shut in incel sees zombies outside. There is panic on the streets and an ugly spectacle erupts. He's hostile to a neighbour and has a pattern of reckless behaviour. This was disastrous and there is a freak denouement. He exists unapologetically and this was so unloved. Zombies have ruthless dominance. This was mechanical and boring. There is a low mood and the dude pays a harrowing price for being a shut in. Other shut ins show up.

There is no vigilant assessment or sense of distance. One cackles as a shut in falls off his balcony. A drone flies. Why is there power? He plays games and exists abjacent to the zombies. He and other shut ins are curious, escape seems unattainable. He has no contact with his family. The tv goes on. There is no water and he has no other choice but to attempt to leave.

Where are his parents? The situation is untenable. This was not compelling and there are explosions. He's justifiably wary. There is another shut in. There is a deadly chain of events. There are communication disorders and strident demands for attention. Nutella is found. Something approaching normality is coming at the end. This was a deluge of pointless.

Best Lines:

“Cannabalistic tendencies.”

“Won't leave the house. Ever.”

“Internet radio shows.”

“Why are they all wireless?”

“Locating and extracting survivors.”

“SOS messages on social media.”

The Babysitter: Killer Queen (2020)

The sequel is set 2 years later. There is a dream of blood in milk and the kid has unsettling worry. Nobody likes him. A transfer student sorta likes him. His useless parents make him take pills. The boy has a slightly puzzled mien. His parents are awful and plan to lock him up. The new girl is irascible. The loser boy is increasingly angry. His dad is a stoner and there is growing tension.

The boy heads to a party where things get increasingly hostile. This was dreadfully commercialised and male gazey. The boy is called Cole. People have no moral sense. Cole was adversely affected and will be more adversely affected. There is uncertainty and a rift and this was not febrile just hollow.

Blood flies and another blood cult pops up and the dead walk. McG directs. Cole is a weird outsider who is self defeating. This was not absolutely real. This was not complex and mysterious and the new cult are led by a very, very vicious person. Cole is accused of being delusional by his parents who are into discouragement. There are hard knocks and no cultural ripples. This was uninteresting.

Cole is long notorious and people have violent responses in this dismal film. Things are reckless and chaotic. Cole's mother vanishes from the film. Cole has a defiant note. There is unreality and furious death and TPTB created a catastrophe. There is consternation and this was inconsequential and deplorable and unhinged. This was very, very regretable. Cole's a pariah. This was irrational and there is a lack of clarity. This does not meet minimum standards. There is impropriety and there are adverse outcomes and receding popularity. There is generational change and Cole develops a combative nature.

Cole's useless and betrayed by his vile father and BBF. The ending is wildly improbable. When did Cole and the new girl get it on? Melanie was his only friend in the 1st film – naturally she turned evil. Bee returns and she is an anorexic stick with a bad wig. Robbie Amell has no shirt. Leslie Bibb is wasted. Bella Thorne gurns and Ken Marino is Ken Marino. There is a sequel hook.

Best Lines:

“I almost died 5 times in 1 night.”

“The guy with no shirt for no reason.”

“Weird little dude.”

“Tom Cruise looking.”

“More bipolar than Kanye West.”

“Never be cool with not having friends.”

“Out there being social.”

“Unless they got in a van, then they're dead.”

“Blood cult.”

“Devil's book.”


“Into some heavy cosplay.”

“Attention seeking.”

“Murder pack.”

“Nobody's ever been murdered in a cabin in the woods.”

“It's creepy.”

“It's supposed to be.”

“Really bleak outlook on the world.”

“You just killed Bambi!”

“Spooky canyon.”

“You whack ass blonde.”

“Post Jordan Peele horror movie era progress.”

“Channing Tatum of murder.”

“You hear me satan?”

“Plan B is more than the pill I take on saturdays.”

“You deduced that from staring at the stars?”

“You've gone loca again.”

“Psychotic delusion.”

“That's it! I'm taking your IUD!”

“You're not nuts!”

“He's a virgin! He has to be!!!”

Tags: movie review, reaper, twin peaks, veronica mars

Comments for this post were disabled by the author