epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: Tom Jones + Christine

Tom Jones (1963)

A rake shags his way around 1700s England and somehow avoids VD. There is bad ADR. Tom Jones is a bastard into roaring, rogering, drinking and hunting. This was woefully lacking and full of padding. Incurious illiterate villagers lurk. There are cataclysmic events and Tom builds his career as a serial shagger. There is public mistrust and no critical thinking.

This was a fiasco. Albert Finney and Susannah York star. Tom has an undesirable reputation and there is a cumulative effect of annoyance. This was a minute disappointment. There are howls of despair and Tom has opportunism. I never understood this film's appeal.

The love interest is a blonde annoyance and there is no evidence of Tom having a snese of shame. There are wilful blunders and Tom faces ever deepening personal disgrace. The blonde has beneficient forebearance. Tom faces ruthless opposition and is out on his ear.

There is sexy chicken and oyster eating and comedy oireish and ego wounds. Joan Greenwood lurks and there is callous indifference and Lynn Redgrave and David Warner.

Best Lines:

“I brought you a thrush!”

“Teach you London ways?”

“Big hungry daughters to feed.”

“Stole a sheep.”

“Likes of her in this village.”

“There's little hope.”

“What are these nocturnal riots?”

“Drink changes a man's character.”

“Brought joy to Tom.”

“Citified claptrap.”

“You beggerly bastard.”

“Wanton harlot.”

“Coarse gibberish.”

“Cold answer.”

“Die and be done!”

“You country clot!”

“A pox on your sorrow!”

“He's a monster of depravity and should be expelled from your house!”

“Romantic notions.”

“Few redeeming graces.”

“Binding our 2 estates together.”

“What in the devil's name is this disturbance?”

“Attempted such freedoms with me.”

“Hope is a bad supper that makes a good breakfast.”

“Rare zeal.”

“Nobody can save him now.”

“If you value my favour.”

Christine (1983)

This was a take on the Stephen King novel, which I've never actually read. This was a John Carpenter film that has Harry Dean Stanton as a cop. This was lunacy. It is 1978 and a nerd buys a vintage car which is a wreck. As he fixes it up, his personality darkens and the car kills people. There are ugly clothes and hair and I could swear John Belushi was in this. This was not a culturally stimulating experience. The car has malevolent will and there is bad acting.

Best Lines:

“I was thinking.”


“Body of a slut.”

“One heck of a good marching band.”

“Don't interrupt me punk!”

“Stop butting into my life!”

“Do a few lubes.”

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