epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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Dceased Dead Planet Issue 1 Reviewed

How are Zatanna and Constatine chatting? Why are they chatting? Cyborg is alive on Earth, 5 years after the Arks left. On Earth2, Jon is now Superman and about 2 feet taller. Damian is now Batman and he's 3 feet taller. There's a new Wonder Woman. This was boring and aimless.


There are pueple aliens. Alfred is on Earth2. Lois Lane takes up space – they built a New Hall Of Justice, oh that was important. Green Arrow thinks Cyborg's distress call is a trap to lure them to Earth to finish them off – he's probably right. Dick and Tim and Kate don't rate a mention when the dead are listed. Dinah married Ollie? 'Arrow' did Dinah so dirty.


There's a Green Lantern quarantine zone around Earth. The sun hasn't gone out. Krypto is alive. Who's Cassie? Where did they get their new superhero outfits from? Earth is sepculchral, silent & creepy. This does not vividly capture the intensity or drama of an apocalypse. Ollie's boasty behaviour leads to him getting chewed on.


This absurdity does not trigger uneasiness. Damian doesn't seem to mourn his 'brothers'. Logic is sparse and inconsistent. Suspence and plot are in short supply. Zombie Wonder Woman attacks cos she's petulant. The knowledge of the cure is revealed. Stupidity results in ruin. Civilisation has been absolutely obliterated. There is no grand celestial imagery in space or on Earth2. This was lamentably ineffective and there are no heightened tensions.


Best Lines:

“John's friend had been infected by the anti-life equation and John had to set him on fire. You know, as you do.”


“Beyond saving.”


“Our doomed world.”


“We found him. Both parts of him.”


“Some monstrous hordes coming in.”


“What was that thud?”

“Nothing.”

“It sounded like a boot to a face.”


“Your dad's still eating a star, kid.”


“Monstrous hordes are about the worst kind of horde.”


“Epic songs should be written of your great feats.”

Tags: comics
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