epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: The Toybox + Chappaquiddick

The Toybox (2018)

No names and Denise Richards and Mischa Barton star in this incredibly dark and underlit horror about an evil RV. This is not an enduring cultural splendour. Horror is not quite overwhelming. This is not known for thespian subtlety. This was not evocative or unpredictable. People face repercussions for buying a serial killer's RV secondhand. There is weary engagement with this astonisingly inept movie.

There is dislocation from any social purpose. This was not pacy. This was shambolic and characters are aggressively foul. There is no otherworldly oddness. The characters are destined for disaster. There are no layers of complexity.

This was humdrum and it was full of unscrupulous people who cannot see the peril they are in. This was not shrewd or compelling just infuriating. There is the meance of death which does not dramatically improve their conduct.

The terrifying ordeal causes bad acting. The father tries for a restorative act of will. He has off putting sons. It is an angry age. The characters are demonic and destructive types and they are strident. They are neurotic and psychotic types in this curiously bland dreck. They are manipulative and awful.

People are always in terrible moods. This was not compelling or complex and there is no honest reckoning. This was dispiritingly familiar. This was not perversely enjoyable and few heroes emerge and people have conspiratorial conviction. Nobody is right thinking. This was overwrought and there are unchecked abuses. This fights for relevance. The characters are mired in dysfunction, fear and aggrievement. This was made with meagre imaginaiton.

The dubious characters are without sympathy in a world without morality. This was lifeless and has no inherent drama. Nobody behaves decently and mass death is not credibly depicted. This was off putting and not visceral. Characters are entirely hostile to sense. They are not of excellent character and are ruthless schemers. This brings nothing but misery.

You can not fully understand what is going on. There is no satisfying ending. This was not enigmatic, unsettling or minutely repulsive. This was ephemeral and not sharp, searing, brilliant or unsettling. This was not riveting just fathomless. This does not leave you emotionally enriched and it is not nicely emotive. There is self-absorption, grinding misery and bad acting. This was entirely terrible and there is no inevitable sense of isolation in this dismal, dreadful 'horror'.

This was a shambles with low standards, high levels of abuse and obsequiousness. This was woeful and it takes forever for the characters to realise the previous owner engaged in nefarious practices. This was a big turd. One has distain for these idiots and their resistance to criticism. This was a stinker with a paucity of logic. This was disastrous and the TPTB treat the audience down.

Best Lines:

“Back in my day we used to open the window to get fresh air.”

“Thank you I guess.”

“Something's not right.”

“Have you always been like this?”

“Who the hell did you buy this thing from?”

“That makes sense to you?”

“And there it is.”

“Chewed your dad's hand off.”

“Strangled herself to death with a jumprope.”

Chappaquiddick (2017)

There are moral shortcomings and Ted Kennedy has vicious self regard in this grim story. Jason Clarke and Kate Mara star. Ted thinks he'll be POTUS in 1972, instead he kills a woman in a car wreck and has a complete inability to show empathy. He manages not to be held accountable. Clancy Brown shows up and Ted gets away with cheating, lies, a cover up and leaving a woman to drown. This was bad. Ted embodies the very opposite of the values the Kennedy clan epouse. This was completely uninteresting and Ted is beset by problems of his own making in this truly abysmal film.

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