epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

  • Mood:
  • Music:

Movie Reviews: Geostorm + Acts Of Vengeance

Geostorm (2017)

This film was on the shelf since 2014. Gerard Butler stars in this 'troubled' film which has exposition, disaster and the US saving the world. Space junk called Dutch Boy encircles the Earth to keep the weather in check. Who built it and HOW? The name Dutch Boy sounds porno. The concept of weather as a danger to humanity is quaint.

This was megre. Jake (Butler) has hostile posture and the US government seeks to rasie tensions. People have sharp combative tones and you can't take the name Dutch Boy seriously. Jake has a useless younger brother named Max who fires him and ruins his life. 3 years pass and this has zero dramatic aspects. Even sensibly modest expectations are not met.

Snow accelerates the realisation that something has gone wrong with Dutch Boy (giggle). This is not a certain and volatile world. How did they build the 4th ISS with the huge Dutch Boy (chortle) array encircling the planet?!? The frat boy jerk Max and his Justin Bieber haircut has no remorse and smugs.

Ed Harris and Andy Garcia show up and have to have gravitas while using the phrase Dutch Boy (@@). The weather trouble that caused the creation of Dutch Boy (!!!!) should be embedded in memories but isn't. It should also have caused a profound shift but didn't. Max is no kind of brother. The US is handing Dutch Boy (@@) over to the international community in 3 weeks. Yeah right sure.

There is no love from Max and his verbal abuse of Jake is rampant. Jake built Dutch Boy (@@) and Max stole it and denied him his chosen path. There is profoundly worrying weather and escalating anxiety and Max is a goob. This is just one of many cultural representations of the end of the world. TPTB can't have people experiencing less comfortable lives.

There is a traitor on the ISS 4. These are the types of twists that only someone who has never watched a movie before or genuinely thinks this is what fighting looks like will have trouble foreseeing. There is artifical gravity on the ISS 4. Nobody mentions how that was invented. Max has no obligations of duty to Jake. As for Jake, his bratty 9 year old daughter talks like an adult.

Jake's misanthrophic and Max does not say sorry and mocks Jake's blue collar existence. Max cost Jake his job, sobriety, life's work, marriage, dog and custody of his child. Max can only smirk. Lord I hate him. I do not deem this film necessary. There is no glorious wonder or terrifying fear. I see a cat in 1 scene. Did it escape the weather disaster? Nobody lives with a permanent sense of dread in the pit of their stomach. Jake commits to righting wrongs.

The VFX is bad. Max's decisions are baffling and he deliberately evades an apology. There is no complexity and Max claims to be the unifying element in international order. There is more bad acting and this was absolutely awful. Max is a petulant child. There is no reassurance that he cares about Jake. Max is miserable and awful company and he has no inclination or desire to improve.

This was largely unnecessary and Max is uncaring. Max's woman is a Secret Service agent. Life has not changed utterly. This was ridiculous and Jake has resentments. Max = miserable. Max cannot stop being crap. Butler looks like he has had a stroke. Max is a jerk.

Max is a vicious hostile goob who is particularly reprehensible with no insight into the effects of his own actions. One is increaisngly impatient. Max sucks and blows. Jake uncovers a conspiracy. The dumb bint Secret Service agent bores. Why are there guns on the Iss 4?!? Only the POTUS has the kill codes for Dutch Boy (!!!!).

Killer hail somehow causes cars to flip, there is more intimidatory weather and birds and a plane fall out of the sky. The ISS 4 is in peril. Max and his bint kidnap the POTUS (Garcia). Red Square melts in a flurry of bad VFX and Jake's bitch ex is barely seen. The ISS has escape shuttles.

A tidal wave wipes out a poor camel. Where did the wave come from?!? Max is so stupid and the goob needs to STFU. Who is filming the ISS 4 as it blows up? Butler wiggles on wires in 'Zero G'. How is there still someone else on the ISS? Why is there a countdown to a geostorm? Why is there a self destruct on the ISS 4 at all?

There is a dog in peril and a shuttle is hit by lightening and explodes. Why does everything in this movie explode? Why are there lights and lasers on the satellites? Why is there sound in space? The Earth is surrounded by so much space junk now it should fill the space programme forever. There is an ass pull ending. Why is there an airlock and space for 2 people inside a WEATHER SATELLITE?!?

Did the escape shuttles make it down safely with all the space junk flying around? People cry. The weather satellite wasn't designed for re-entry and it has NO HEAT SHIELD! Why arent't Jake and his woman dead at the end? Where did the shuttle that saved them come from?!? There are various flags on the shuttle. There are no g forces. How do they dock with a weather satellite?!? The computer girl (Zazie Beetz) vanishes from the plot at random.

Tides receed leaving no mud just massive damage. There are so many shuttle pads. Jake will get some tonight. Max needs a good punch. How did they afford all this after a global disaster and how can they afford to rebuild it after ANOTHER GLOBAL DISASTER?!? Is there talk of a new ISS. Max talks about Jake heading back up. TO WHAT? THE ISS BLEW UP!!!!! We see a shuttle launch – what is it going? Why isn't humanity wiped out anyway as the Dutch Boy (@@) system that controlled the weather has been blown up?!? This film makes no sense and co stars Jim Sturgess, Abbie Cornish, Robert Sheehan, Richard Schiff and Mare Winningam.

Best Lines:

“Facing our own extinction.”

“The world came together as one.”

“It works, you're welcome.”

“That didn't go well at any point.”

“Keep believing that.”

“Very intentional.”

“Lying to me. Again.”

“God doesn't play so nice.”

“Bank disguised as a country.”

“Gravity threshold.”

“You say genocide, I say premptive strike.”

“Change the map of the world.”

“We thank you for your sacrifice.”

“Can't be reveresed.”

“My choice. God knows I haven't always made the right ones.”

“Hull rotation has termianted.”

“Beyond reapir or salvation.”

“Cycles down.”

“A miracle indeed.”

“This is so boring.”

“Relive a moment.”

“1 people, 1 planet.”

“Share 1 future.”


Acts Of Vengeance (2017)

To expect bad men not to do wrong is madness. Karl Urban is in this as the baddie, it's so obvious it's not a spoiler. This makes no real effort. There are brutal reprisals and doomed destinies. A man has downright unhappiness and how quickly all things disappear. A man ignored this wife and child. This looks dubbed and there is ongoing aggression.

Blithely ignoring his kin leads to sadness and their deaths. He now has a well signalled intent gain vengeacne. Civilians are caught in conflict. They died as a direct consequnce of him. The morals and message of this film are odd. This was witless. His father in law berates him and he has life threatening encounters and a craving for repetence. There is narration and a cop (Urban) shows up.

The widower is in the pit od despair and there is cage fighting and there is bitterness, hate and violence. There is an underground fight circut and there is a hooker and a traning montage and poor choices. This is a challening time. He makes a lady friend and Urban is revealed as the baddie due to his newspaper clippings of crazy. There is a violent conflict to end this bad interminable movie.

Best Lines:

“Do I look crazy to you”?

“I never saw what she saw in you.”

“Exonerate the scum of the Earth.”

“Empty words to appease.”

“Didn't want me around anymore.”

Tags: movie review

Comments for this post were disabled by the author