epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Review: Hellraiser III: Hell On Earth (1992)

This was directed by Anthony Hickox and starred Terry Farrell of 'Star Trek: Deep Space Nine'), Doug Bradley, Paula Marshall and Ashley Laurence. This has a budget and sees a supremely unsympathetic barfly who has no moral virtues whatsoever revive Pinhead. A reporter named Joey (Farrell) is heavy with misery and missed chances.

Unpleasant fates await bad actors and Bradley carries on as though he's doing Chekhov. Joey sees something impossible. People make gruesome exits in revoltingly inventive ways. This was seriously terrible massive mediocrity bar Bradley hamming it up as Pinhead. Joey has no terrifying urgency despite seeing proof of supernatural doings. There is squalor and this was so 90s looking. Isn't Pinhead DEAD? Where is Julia?

There is bad acting and this was infuriating and not even half as profound as it thinks it is. There is no genuine threat or narrative logic. The barfly clubrat wears tiny underpants and this was tonally wild. This was made with maximum incompetence and Joey watches a video of the Cotton daughter. Pinhead's human side appeals to Joey for help. Why do people talk to the demonic head (Pinhead) stuck in a pillar?!?

There is no sombre mood and this was not epoch defining. Pinhead ends up walking the streets of NY. This was pretty ghastly and valueless po-faced doleful ridiculousness. Pinhead wanders through a club of wannabe transgressives and people are throughly despondent.

There is wretched business and there is unemotiing extras. This was unrelentingly awful. Blood seeps under a door as Pinhead wreaks misery. He is capable of the most heinious evil. Nobody will miss the losers, deadbeats and outcasts. The box is chased and there is no perpetual state of terror. Pinhead is shoutily psychotic. This was not suitably disturbing and stuff blows up, because.

A priest encounters the hell priest as Pinhead walking into a church causes the stained glass to explode. Pinhead laughs and does something profane. Seeing Pinhead outside in broad daylight is weird. There is dated VFX and there is a sequel hook. What is Joey's fate? Pinhead loves making bellicose threats.

Best Lines:

“Got an ambulance to beat.”

“Lying bleeding at your feet.”

“Banal. Hopeless. Dreamless.”

“Hell has its Commandments too.”

“Jesus Christ!”

“Not quite.”

“Hell is exactly what's going on.”

“Explorer of forbidden pleasures.”

“Save your tears. I'll reap your sorrow, slowly. I have centuries.”

“You think your nightime world is closed to me?”

“Couldn't resist playing games.”

“After all, you made me.”

“To press the stinking face of humanity into the dark blood of its own secret heart.”

“Free you from the future.”

“I'll enjoy making you bleed and I'll enjoy making you enjoy it.”

“Such limited imagination.”

“Down the dark decades of your pain, this will seem like a memory of heaven.”

“Thou shall not bow down before any graven image.”

“Just come here and die while you still have the option of doing it quickly.”

Tags: movie review, star trek

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