epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
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Movie Reviews: Mercy Black + 5ive Girls

Mercy Black (2019)

This is a boring Blumhouse film. A shrink releases her patient (who has an LA haircut) from the nut ward after 15 years. What caused such negative psychological effects? Some mystery event 15 years ago. This exacerbates frustration and demoralisation. The past continues to have repercussions. LA haircut girl lives with uncertainty.


Does she have cognitive issues or is the truth less attractive? This does not push the boundaries of what can be achieved. She has increasing discomfort and there are jump scares and silent misery and little sense of threat. LA haircut girl has longstanding psychological trauma. Janeane Garofalo is the shrink. LA haircut girl moves in with her sister and her nephew in a large house. She gets Psycho Bitch hate mail.


There is talk of an urban legend and the sister gives emotional support and commitment. The front door gets smashed but then is fixed a scene later. LA haircut girl wields a sander. There is no heightened concern. This leaves you unawed and she's an interloper in their lives and recalcitrant and reticent. She's constantly looking for approval. The sister has a creepy boyfriend. This is intolerable.


Rebecca the ringleader is out, what happened 15 years ago? Is she inherently pathological? What is her name? What is anyone's name? She's completely alone and trapped. People are unforgetting. Nobody ferociously defends her. There is turmoil. LA haircut girl = Marina. She finally explains what happened. This was not tense. There is bad acting. The boyfriend, Will, is a true crime nutjob/money hungry jackass.


There are morally dubious incidents and cruel capriciousness. This is an irritating pile of steaming cack. This was aggravating and will rot your brain by virtue of simply existing. Marina has difficulty regulating her emotional state and interacting with the world in a stable way. Marina never intended such consequences to occur. Mercy Black is notorious, she's a widely believed myth.


Things get dark and this was deeply disturbing. There are 'twists' and antagonism and little cooperation and Hollywood darkness and the baddie looks like a Halloween decoration. There is unwavering commitment to the truth in the face of widespread disbelief and the nephew gets cruelly curious.


Best Lines:

“A house you cannot see and a book you cannot read.”


“Self-induced hallcinations.”


“Your life will be defined by your past.”


“I didn't invite him. I never invite him.”


“Nobody's going to call your resume boring.”


“I'm suprised 'Dateline' isn't here knocking at your door.”


“Do you think the police are actually going to come down here? For you?”


“Did you do something? Something that made them send you away?”


“HAVE FUN BEING POOR!”


~
5ive Girls (2006)

Ron Perlman stars. Girls are dumped at a boarding school from hell. Literally. This was 1990s style direct to video crap.


Best Lines:

“As god is my witness you shall not enter me!”


“Your parents do not want you.”

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