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Movie Reviews: The Pink Panther Strikes Again + Escaping Dad + Paradise Hills

The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1976)

In this unfunny comedy Clouseau has ravaged his former boss into a loony bin. This was risible. The former boss is a very dangerous man and an extremely angry one. Things get acrimonious. There is bizarre CPR and untoward incidents.

The ex boss is detained against his will due to being driven mad insidiously and seemingly irrversibly by Clouseau's presence and conduct. This lacks grounded plausibility and is entirely generic. Clouseau is blameworthy. The poor boss was chased out of public life and is distraught. Clouseau and his valet, Cato, brawl. There is a bizarre level of rage to the brawls.

This was miserable and mentally exhausting. People mutter darkly and the boss makes furious demands. Lesley-Anne Downey, Burt Kwouk and Leonard Rossiter costar. Clouseau and Cato seem to have some bizarre S&M relationship. There are ugly old man underpants.

Best Lines:

“Kill you! Kill you!”

“Rightfully be mine.”

“Sanity commission.”

“For your dake, I hope you're not.”

“3 long terrible years.”

Escaping Dad (2017)

This Lifetime movie was the most dreadful thing you could possibly ever wish to see. This is not a devastatingly realistic tale of an abusive husband. There is no emotional investment in this. This was beyond ludicrous. The wife and kids flee the nutter. People are denied any redeeming qualities. This was rubbish, general awfulness and terrible, awful, awful, bad.

Best Lines:

“Dress like trash.”

“This is my house. I'll use whatever tone I want to.”

Paradise Hills (2019)

Emma Roberts and Milla Jovovich star in this bizarre dysoptian tale. This looks like a Lady Gaga music video. Uma (Roberts of 'Coven', 'Apocalypse' and 'Scream Queens') ends up at a centre for emotional healing. They are served flowers and do beauty rituals for no obvious reason. Uma gets pink hair and bizarre outfits are worn. There is talk of a marriage Uma is being forced into. Uma is chained to a merry go round horse and shown bizarre things. This is like some bizarre YA novel.

The world building is unclear. Uma treasures her memory locket. Uma has a boring love interest that she thinks will save her. There is singing, a lack of personal responsibility, drugging, mumbling and an island. The damage the place does becomes clear. There are demeaning moments, associated fear and Markus is a tool. There is a hairpin map, safety is not assured, there is no reassurance and things are acutely stressful.

There are unreasonable demands and the girls are subject to restriction. The man Uma is being forced to marry ruined her family and drove her father to his death. Another student named Yu is doomed. There is abuse and no reassurance. The 'school' or 'healing' place is perplexing and people make irresponsible decisions. People are self-absorbed, foolish and reckless. There is pomp and ceremony.

There is fresh distress, petty frustration and false priorities which permeates daily life. The school is run by Duchess who is weird. There is arrogance and cognitive dissonance which is distressing. Damage is done to people in their unexplained unexplored society. There is perveived vulnerability and the 'students' are reconfiguered. Toxic late stage capitalism imposes inequitable hierarchies in this society.

This was spectacular looking. There is a lack of personal responsibility. There is an emotioanl toll and no therapeutic help. There is resilence in this unusal situation as well as solidarity, love, care, kindness and forced silences.

There is considered anger and horror grips. There are no complicated dynamics of power and consent. There is isolation and exile. A man owns Uma and uses her. Which precludes joy. People feel loveless. Bad things happen to Chloe and Yu. There is a twist and a reveal and another twist. Women are amended and discarded at will. There is a lack of respect and concern.

There is a complete unwillingness to look at negative consequences. What is Duchess? People have to ingratiate themselves with the hostile. There is hostility and hatred. There are disturbing aspects and the strains of conforming to this world can very damaging and stressful.

There is disorienting dread. Darkness spreads and there are cataclysmic changes and inexplicable decisions and altercations. This was good. This was full of swivel eyed loons and the things one has to do to gain approval.

Best Lines:

“Escape from what?”

“Always wanted to go to a fascist boarding school.”

“Thorn bushes have roses.”

“He's a lower.”

“She's an upper.”

“Learn your place.”

“Panic attack anxious.”

“I don't know how to be.”

“Told me not to back until I got better.”

“We don't drink our milk.”

“It's not her turn tonight.”

“Man whose paying for you.”

“I ain't never had a dream here.”

“You think this place is a lie?”

“Run along now little bug.”

“Throw up our milk.”

“Grovel for food.”

“Fat southern girl.”

“I'm only doing my job!”

“Get them!”

“To be better than you!”

“How hard we've worked to get here while you eat cake and pick flowers.”

“What we've done to get here.”

“Born out of your wars.”

“Upper perfection.”

“Earned the life ahead of her.”

Tags: apocalypse, coven, movie review, scream queens

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