epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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Movie Reviews: Hardware +The Invisible Man (2020) +How To Be A Latin Lover + 3 more

Hardware (1990)

This was fundamentally unexciting. This bizarre sci-fi tries for suffocating tension and uniform misery and dire portents.


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The Invisible Man (2020)

I was unable to muster enthuiasm for this Leigh Whannell film. Whannell directed and wrote this take on the classic tale. Elisabeth Moss flees her abusive – and now invisible – husband Oliver Jackson-Cohen. There is stalking, staring and this tale of soul destroying misery struggles to muster up more than passing interest. This was dull, padded out and not scary. This was NOT enormously gratifying and lacks any sinister aspect and the ending goes to an illogical extreme. This was calamitous and fails to tell a coherent story and is not darkly disturbing.


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How To Be A Latin Lover (2017)

This 'comedy' fails spectacularly. An aging gigolo and his tiny swim trunks ages out of his job. He goes hunting for a new purpose in life. Raquel Welch, Linda Lavin, Rob Lowe, Salma Hayek and Kristen Bell co star in this hogwash. Old women are grotesques. This lacks meaning, purpose and creative satisfaction. This was made with sexist wilful incompetence.


There is an annoying moppet, spiteful scheming and this was searingly horrible with manifest problems. This was astonishingly stupid. There are idiot thugs and this was like a bad 'Modern Family' ep. This was outlandishly unlikely.


Best Lines:

“Turning my car into a stripper mobile.”


“I have no money! No home! No helicopter!”


“Money-grubbing gigolo.”


“Been through too much. Emotionally and surgically.”


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Mr Blandings Builds His Dream House (1948)

Bland.


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The Wrong Box (1966)

Unwatchable.

Tags: handmaids tale, hill house, movie review
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