Chuck looks for Orion, the creator of the Intersect as Orion looks for him. Sarah sulks. There is more Buy More stupidity. A glowering Fulcrum agent (Arnold Vosloo of The Mummy’, ‘The Mummy Returns’ and ‘Hard Target’) gives the team the run around. Numerous people attempt to rob the Buy More. Chuck’s a moron. Chuck studies blueprints of the Intersect. This was not good.
“It’s called Tetrodotoxin. A modified poison extracted from blowfish. Fulcrum agents are taught to survive its near death state.”
“That sounds like a fun class.”
Chuck Versus The Broken Heart
I wish I was watching ‘My Own Worst Enemy’ or ‘Sanctuary’ instead. Sarah is replaced by Alex (Tricia Helfer of ‘Battlestar Galactica’) due to rampant unprofessional behaviour. Chuck gurns and his whining grates. A bachelor party takes place to the tune of Lady GaGa’s ‘Lovegame’. Devon gets too close to Chuck’s secret life. Ellie acts like a cow. Sarah’s belligerent. After Sarah gets her job back she and Chuck locate Chuck’s deadbeat dad.
Chuck Versus The Dream Job
Chuck and Ellie are reunited with their dad Stephen (Scott Bakula of ‘Quantum Leap’ and ‘Star Trek: Enterprise’.) Ellie complains and acts like a cow, TPTB have turned her into a bridezilla harpy this season. Chuck gets a job working for IT mogul Roark (Chevy Chase) Arnold Vosloo’s character returns to glower. Roark turns out to have an Intersect. Chuck’s dad is Orion, which has been obvious since Ellie mentioned his favourite movie was ‘Tron’ several eps back. Fulcrum grabs Stephen. This was dull and the characters are all hateful now.
Chuck Versus The First Kill
Jill is sprung from jail to help locate Chuck’s dad. Chuck and Jill run from a Fulcrum agent to the tune of ‘Hungry Like The Wolf’. There is more Buy More boredom as Emmett steals Big Mike’s job as store manager. Sarah is a nasty person. There is shameless product placement. One wonders: just how big is Fulcrum and why does it come across as a cult? There is a well done raid on a Fulcrum building. Chuck lets Jill escape. Casey is ordered to put Chuck in lockdown so Sarah helps Chuck go on the run. Chuck fails to consider that he can never have a normal life now. The baddies know who he is. This was dull.
“Bernie didn’t like Jill’s last boyfriend and that’s the last we saw of him.”
“Operation moron is over.”
Chuck Versus The Colonel
Casey hunts Chuck and Sarah. Devon and the Buy More crew ponder the creepy contents of Casey’s locker. Casey is a jerk. Devon is so suspicious of Casey that he breaks into Casey’s home and finds out about Chuck’s secret life. Sarah makes bitchfaces. Roark is an awful bad guy, awful as in the failure to actually act or be menacing. F-16’s attack Roark, Arnold Vosloo’s character may be dead. Stephen removes the Intersect from Chuck’s head. Morgan quits the Buy More. Ellie is a real bitch, what have TPTB done to her character? Everything is wrapped up neatly or is it? This was fairly okay. I don’t care about Chuck’s emotional journey, the Chuck/Sarah romance or his relationships with friends and family.
“Feel free to use whatever despicable acts of violence that are in your nature. You could eat them if you want. I don’t care.”
“You can’t kill me with that radiator. It is far too confined in this car for you to get the appropriate torque.”
“I knew you weren’t a loser who worked at the Buy More!”
“We have the Intersect Cube, Fulcrum is defeated, your mission complete. Mr Bartowski you are free to return to whatever it is you do.”
Chuck Versus The Ring
Chuck and Casey quit the Buy More. Intersect 3 is ready to go. Bryce is to be the new Intersect. Matthew Bomer looks very hot. Ellie’s wedding dress is ugly. Chuck’s a snot. Roark shows up to be non-menacing. Bryce reveals he knew about Orion all along, which means the shows mythology makes no sense the more you think about it.
This plot of this ep is similar to the plot of a ‘Kung Fu: The Legend Continues’ ep. Chuck’s moron Buy More friends ruin Ellie’s wedding. Bryce, Casey, Chuck and Sarah fight Fulcrum. Ellie sulks and Chuck pays for his bridezilla sister to have a second wedding with new outfits for everyone.
Roark is killed off. Chuck’s dad has his own Intersect. Chuck whines like a Halliwell sister. Chuck, Sarah and Casey somehow find the location of the secret Intersect. Bryce is killed by baddies. And there goes any chance of me watching season 3. Damn you TPTB!
It is revealed that Fulcrum is just one part of The Ring. Fulcrum have just been minions all along, there is a bigger bad out there. As to whom The Ring are and what they want and why they killed Bryce is to be answered in season 3 apparently. Chuck uploads Intersect 3 into his head and gets a new skill set. He wipes the floor with The Ring flunkies in a terrible kung fu scene. Casey and Sarah just stand and watch. This was okay. They killed Bryce Larkin! No doubt Chuck will be back in the Buy More in season 3 with his moron buddies. Also Ellie and Devon will probably get divorced because TPTB have to make her unlikebale again. I doubt I’ll watch season 3. I’ll miss you Bryce Larkin, but not you Chuck because you kind of suck.
“In case of emergencies. My personal number. But your fingers better be on fire when you’re dialling.”
“This is a really weird family.”
“Just think that terrible pun is the last thing you’ll ever hear.”
"No one stops us. No one ever has."