epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping + Carry On Behind + Dog Day Afternoon 🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (2016)

This was a prolonged pardoy of Justin Beiber that flopped. A gloriously unaware untalented 'rapper' sees public sentiment turn against him given his inclination to stage manage any given situation. There are lots of cameos. Nobody has any regard or holds truth as a value.

This is an okay tale of self-interested opportunism. Connor4Real, the 'hero', has no inherent goodness and is an absolute disgrace of a human being. He's self-satisfied. He faces fateful challenges and lacks integrity and decency. He's surly and defiant. This was not an epiphanic take on fame.

This was awful on purpose. A cute baby goat bleats. Connor4Real is contemptible. This mockumentary goes on and on. He fires supportive and kind people and adamantly opposes sense. His turtle pukes and Connor4Real gets punched by Martin Sheen. To get his groove back, Connor4Real has to reunite his old group, The Style Boys. Ringo Starr has a cameo. Andy Samberg, Sarah Silverman, Maya Rudolph, Joan Cusack, Imogen Poots, Usher, 50 Cent, Simon Cowell, Mariah Carey, Mario Lopez, Will Arnett, Snopp Dogg and Michael Bolton star. TMZ is mocked.

Best Lines:

“Take an ugly teenager to the prom.”

“Don't really do that.”

“Cut softer.”

“Are you trying to 'Parent Trap' us?”

“My turtle is sick!”

“Turtle heaven.”

“I get the message, I'll go away.”

“We were very cool for our school district.”

“It shows he knows how to read, which is really heartening.”

“I will eat your head!”

“Taylor Swift got arrested for murder!”

Carry On Behind (1975)

A dig near a caravan site leads to smutty goings on. Elke Sommer features. This was tiresome and full of 1970s hair.

Best Lines:

“Digging a new cesspool.”

“For drinking and for women.”

Dog Day Afternoon (1975)

Based on a true story from 1972. Al Pacino stars. 2 idiots try to rob a bank. Cops show up. Crowds show up. What became of the 3rd bank robber? Pacino mumbles. This was dull.

Best Line:

“Attica! Attica!”

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