epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
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The War Of The Worlds 1x02 Reviewed 👾👽👾👽👾👽

This BBC mistake trundles on. The HMS Thunderchild scene takes place off screen. There is bad old age make up. Amy the whore and her man whore are selfish and stupid. In the future, the Earth is a terraformed hellhole. Nobody knows that the invaders were defeated by bacteria. Wonder Amy the whore and her moppet are know it alls.


The man-whore (aka George) is a useless coward. Amy screams. Nobody seems too concerned with the fate of the man-whore's wife and children. George the man-whore only cares about Amy and her whoredropped bastard. Are you meant to feel sorry for the whore and her man-whore?


The tripods ramapge around like bad VFX from 1998. Seriously the invaders in the 1950s movie were scarier! Even the invaders in the 1980s tv show were scarier than this! Amy screams and is hysterical. The man-whore keeps calling Amy his wife, she's not his wife! She is his WHORE! George the man-whore is made to get a proper job and is drafted into the army.


George the manwhore leaves a baby and an injured man and a woman he promised to help to die. Lord I hate him. He's a chillingly mediocre man. The black smoke is seen. Lots of invaders arrive and a man spews crap the BBC thinks baddies utter. People want to evacuate to Dunkirk.


Amy jumps into the sea and risks drowning to be with her man-whore. The man-whore does not care about his brother, his wife or his children. Another moppet is found. Someone fears that more invaders will come and that the black smoke has terraformed Earth. This was utter utter CRAP.


Best Lines:

“What was the Great Victory like?”

“It was hard. A lot was lost.”


“Do your duty like an Englishman.”


“It's rubbish! All of it!”


“Can you really call this victory? This very much looks like a red planet to me.”


“This will not be our planet any more.”

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