Intersect II is about to come online which means Chuck is obsolete and needs killing by Casey. Sarah now works in a frozen yogurt shop so she can be objectified in new ways. Chuck asks her out, which ends badly. Morgan annoys. The villain of the week (Michael Clarke Duncan of ‘Daredevil’ and ‘The Scorpion King’) puts Chuck in peril. Intersect II is uploaded and promptly crashes in a manner not seen since Bryce Larkin blew up Intersect I. This ep was tiresome, boring and Chuck was smug.
“That is the single dumbest story I’ve ever heard.”
“That very well may be.”
“I’m going for imposing.”
Chuck Versus The Seduction
The gang have a new HQ. Anyway the gang enlist the help of an old school James Bond type spy named Roan (John Larroquette of ‘Madhouse’) to help Chuck seduce a spy named Sasha (Melinda Clarke of ‘The O.C.’) There are pointless scenes at the Bu More. Morgan is a jerk. Plot illogic abounds and then things pick up when Bryce Larkin (Matthew Bomer) returns. This was okay.
Chuck Versus The Break-Up
Chuck’s smug and surly over Bryce’s return. Bryce and Sarah go on a mission which Chuck botches. The Buy More staff feud with the staff of another store. Sarah’s fake tan makes her look orange. Devon talks to Bryce. More road blocks are thrown onto the Chuck/Sarah hook up highway. Chuck complains. This show has lost its sense of fun. Bryce looks hot and gives Chuck an Intersect update. This was okay.
Chuck Versus The Cougars
Flashbacks to 1998 show Sarah (aka Jenny Burton) at high school with bad hair and a brace being tormented by Heather Chandler (Nicole Richie). In the present Chuck, Sarah and Casey head to Sarah’s high school reunion as Heather’s husband Mark Ratner (Ben Savage) is being targeted by baddies.
Sarah is hostile as everyone learns her dad is in jail. The soundtrack includes the Backstreet Boys and the ‘Dawson’s Creek’ theme. It is revealed that Heather Chandler-Ratner is evil and not just high school evil. So she and Sarah have a brawl in a shower. This was good; Nicole Richie was a great guest villain.
“What did you do, attend Bad Guy High?”
“Why’d you do it Heather?”
“Revenge of the cheerleaders.”
Chuck Versus Tom Sawyer
Ellie and Devon nag Chuck. The Buy More staff is under scrutiny and judged to be either an ass kisser, untrainable or a prostitute. Jeff the loser is the subject of bad guy attention. Chuck learns the secrets of an 80’s video game. Ellie wonders about Chuck. Sarah gets Chuck a fake Stanford diploma. Chuck gets a nemesis at the Buy More. This was not good.
“I’d like to report the following violation of Buy More policy: misappropriation of the home theatre room, after hours consumption of alcohol and lewd use of a musical montage.”
“You want to see something I’ve never shared with anymore?”
“Please don’t be a porno. Please, please don’t be a porno.”
“Do you think my brother’s on drugs?”
“That’d explain a lot.”
Chuck Versus The Ex
Chuck’s Stanford ex Jill returns. Jill (Jordana Brewster of ‘The Faculty’) helps out when a bioweapon is unleashed. Chuck is a moron. There is a Chuck/Casey moment. This was good; this was when the show picked up. Why did Chuck not ask Bryce about Jill?
“She slept with Bryce Larkin.”
Chuck Versus The Fat Lady
Casey wears a bellboy costume. Chuck’s nemesis Emmett is suspicious of Chuck. A puzzle box unleashes more puzzles. Sarah and Chuck have to do decontamination. The gang obtain a list of Fulcrum agents. Chuck and Jill get it on. Chuck is stupid again. The list reveals a not unexpected name. This was good.
“What is he into, Morgan? Uppers, glue, a baby mama?”
“Grab a shiv and make your move.”
“You should run now, he’s in prison mode.”
“Oh my god, it’s Jill.”
“Thank you. I didn’t know its name.”
Chuck versus Gravitron
Chuck knows Jill’s secret. It seems Fulcrum was also recruiting at Stanford. A Fulcrum agent fights Chuck through a carnival. Jill’s hooked up to a lie detector and asked questions. Chuck at last learns the truth about the Chuck/Jill/Bryce situation. There wasn’t one. Jill lied. Fulcrum wants Bryce. Big Mike takes down a Fulcrum agent he’s mistaken for a burglar. Chuck turns on Jill. Ellie has Thanksgiving hijinks. This was good. But the whole 3 episode arc could have been avoided if Chuck had just asked Bryce about Jill back in season 1.
Best Line: “Who is my life isn’t a spy?”