epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Review: Get Santa + Wet Hot American Summer + Fractured + Cavedweller 🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅

Get Santa (2014)

An ex-con dad, his bitchy ex and their ill tempered increasingly flippant son met Santa in this horrible UK comedy which was done with total sincerity. People have petty motives. People can't function communally, Santa shows up and people are so convinved of their entitlement to do what is right for themselves they lost perspective on what is happening to those around them.

Santa's locked up in the clink. He has carrots. 6 reindeer end up in a field. This was idiot comedy and there is social disorder. Reindeers fart and Santa's sleigh crashed in a ditch. This looks cheap and is grinding and joyless. There is no social immediacy and there are implacable views. This is not a supreme model of crative thought.

Jim Broadbent, Rafe Spall, Warwick Davis, Stephen Graham, Jodie Whittaker and Jon Snow feature. This was terrible and chronically insufficient.

Best Lines:

“Oh no he's just eating grass.”

“All round bad guy.”

“It's horrible.”

“It's supposed to be.”

Wet Hot American Summer (2001)

This useless movie somehow spawned 2 spinoff tv shows. What is summer camp, US movies are obsessed with it? There are 80s clothes, tiny shorts, 80s hair, horrible people, a Dahmer lookalike and this was BAD. Janeane Garofalo, David Hyde Pierce, Marguerite Moreau, Paul Rudd, Christopher Meloni, Ken Marino, Bradley Cooper and Elizabeth Banks star.

Fractured (2019)

Lily Rabe and Sam Worthington star. An angry man ends up in horrendous cirumstances after a life changing disaster. The man has reasonable objections. This film does not deserve attention. The man is surly after an accident lands him at a rural hospital. There is weird acting. The man's wife and child vanish. There is pathological hysteria. He has a furious agenda. This was farcical. The ending is a downer. But you can see it coming from minute 1.

Best Lines;

“Shooting me dirty looks.”

“Our household is safe.”

Cavedweller (2004)

Aidan Quinn and Kevin Bacon star in this dreck. There is bad acting. A woman goes home. Everybody hates her because she's a bad wife and mother. So much whining. This bored.

Best Line;

“Fixing things have never been your strong suit.”

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