epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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The Spanish Princess 1x05 + The Rook 1x03 + Bodyguard (2018) 1x01 Reviewed 👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑

Heart Versues Duty

Henry VII wishes to marry Catherine, then he doesn't. Catherine snots. The Poles are in a hell of their own making. Catherine's foundational basis for her acts is that she will be Queen Of England. Catherine is a remorseless psychopath. The Poles have impregnable powers of self delusion and fretful pondering.

Henry has no calm sagacity. Margaret heads to Scotland with a very small retinue and is happy. Malice is ascribed. People are dangerously erratic. Rose is knocked up. My Lady The King's Mother is an unrelenting enemy of the Poles. The Poles have cultivated a reputation. It is uncontestable that they are morons.

Henry has sexual want. The Poles have an inability to be nice. The Poles are dangeorusly erratic. This is not a noble tragedy. Nor is it revelatory or insightful. The throne is an aspirational goal for Catherine. This show gained no critical accalim. The Poles are fools. This ep was arduous. The Poles can't minimise their shamefulness. This ep can't quite live up to even humble expectations. Various characters have abused uncertainty. I reamined bored throughout. There is discontent. Catherine has remarkable strenght of will. The Poles bemoan their lot. Rosa brings shame on herself.

Best Lines:

“Not sired to be King.”

“My honour will be questioned.”

“Not always in his interests.”

“May god help you if you do.”

“If your love is so fickle that it can blow away like dust...”

“A nursery full of bastard children.”

“Do away with the little problem.”

“The betrayal he will deal to you, it will break the world.”

Chapter 3

This show is genuinely abysmal and puerile and inane and inept. I won't be watching 1x04. This show causes deliberate disinterest. People have no interest in culturally accepted normalacy. There are no apocalyptic concerns. This mundanity is bleak ephemera. TPTB have neither insight nor regard for the book. This was fantastically unrealistic. This was not strikingly intense. Gina McKee features. This was a deathly bore. This doesn't matter and is of no consequence.

Best Lines:

“Conspiracy theorists who just happen to be right.”

“Scapegoat's offical confession.”

Bodyguard (2018) 1x01

Richard Madden broods as a cop who foils an attack on a train. He has kids and a bitch ex. He is made bodyguard to the Home Secretary. This was far from satisfactory. There is bad wound makeup.

Best Lines:

“Throw him off the train.”

“Call your monkey off. Throw him some nuts.”

Tags: review, the tudors, the white queen

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