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Book Review: The Royal Art Of Poison 🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮

The Royal Art Of Poison: Fatal Cosmetics, Deadly Medicines, and Murder Most Foul by Eleanor Herman

From the author of 'Sex With Kings' comes another gossipy tale of Ye Olden Days. This is a story of poison, suspected poison, revolting diseases, worms, medieval medicine, deadly cosmetics, food tasters, filthy living conditions and mysterious or not so mysterious deaths. The deaths of Caravaggio, Henry Stuart, Thomas Overbury, Henrietta Stuart, Mozart and Napoleon are dissected and the foulest suggestions are made. There is sheer elation at the ghastly accounts of sick beds, autopsies, puking, pus and disgusting remedies. This was very good if vile.


Best Lines:

“Wretched filth.”


“Notoriously diseased rear end.”


“Thrusts her rusty sword at times into the arras [tapestry] in great rage.”


“Piss prophets.”


“Choosing beds unknown and plugging holes best left alone.”


“Lurking-hole.


“Irreversible collapse.”


“Let him be cast to the worms.”


“Moat, which frequently featured floating turds,”


“Thrust a hand down one's breeches to scratch at fleas.”


“Glare uppon thy snot as if thou hadst pearles and Rubies fallen from thy braynes.”


“Richard III suffered intestinal worms that grew up to a foot long,”


“Telling all his friends he never wanted to see them again for various imagined persecutions.”


“Anthrax spores in a buried carcass are still infectious centuries later.”


“Evil-minded people.”


“All the ills of the nation.”


“Stabbed his friends in fits of paranoid rage.”


“The cause of all our misfortunes.”


“Sprung from an illegitimate bed.”


“Live in quiet order.”


“Laughed for the only time on record,”


“You know you've gone over the top when Czar Ivan The Terrible of Russia expresses his distaste at your excessive violence.”


Reportedly saw a mermaid in the castle moat, dove off the ramparts, hit the water with a great splash, and nearly drowned. As his servants tried to fish him out, he continued screaming that he wanted to catch the mermaid.”


“Her enemies – and there were many-”


“Passed on to the realm of memory and myth unsullied,”


“Lovers hiding in chimneys.”


“Suddenly acquire such importance in the eyes of the King, and although he guessed she must be involved in some affair of consequence he was quite unable to find out what it was.”


“Irritating spouses, and rich relatives who refused to die in a timely manner.”


“Unmolested by muderous Masons.”


“Emperor of two rooms in a rat-infested, mildewed house on a rock in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.”

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