epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
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Movie Reviews: Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince + Snake Eyes + Surrounded 🎰🎲🎰🎲🎰🎲🦷

Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince (2009)

This was immensely uninteresting. There are Tom Riddle flashbacks and this was various levels of irritating. Ron is a moron. This was predictably grim. Draco's a tool. There is talk of a vanishing cabinet. The most dreadful and darkly suprising of things do not happen.


This was not immensely gratifying. This was done with deadly earnest. There is no tense anxiety and Harry sticks his face in water. There is a long brewing crisis and collective hate and chaos beckons. One feels disregard and disinterest for this dead awful intensely stupid film.


People have an obstinate refusal to stop making all the wrong decisions. There is inaction and bitter memories. The big bad plans the systematic removal and or elimination of cultural systems and social institutions. Tom Riddle's fall was far indeed. Harry casts judgment on his enemies.


Draco sobs inconsolably in the bog. This was laughably ill-judged and not hypnotically watchable. There is not one shred of realism and no deranged charm and no creeping meance. The school has no security and graybeard dies. This was murky and risible and full of totally different values.


Best Lines:

“Most dangerous dark wizard of all time.”


“Back alley transactions.”


“Made all the wrong choices.”


~
Snake Eyes (1998)

Nicolas Cage and Gary Sinise star in this conspiracy thriller. This was okay.


Best Lines:

“I've never been this offended in my life.”


“Am I supposed to know you?”


“Weather bimbo.”


“This isn't a beach town anymore. It's a sewer.”


“Waving a lunatic flag.”


~
Surrounded (2018)

A group of 5 idiots get on a sea plane. The pilot mumbles. This rips off 'The Shallows'. The 5 are planning a viral video. There is an obvious and unnoticed plane defect which causes it to crash. There are belligerent machinations and this was absurd and nonsensical. All this was for a travel blog? There is no help coming and this was a bleak affair. People speak in weary tones and a tiny island offers no refuge. An idiot woman is treated as a liability. This is pathetic and does not resonate. The VFX are bad. Sharks with extreme malice relentlessly attack. This isn't particularly ambitious. There are endless harangues and no conviction or power. A woman incurs distain and things are fractious. There is no inner reasoning and rescue comes. This was not savage or beautiful.


Best Lines:

“Whining the whole time.”


“I think I see a shark down there! Sweet!”


“That's not a dolphin!”


“Click bait.”


“Not enough to ration.”

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