epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
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epiphany_maria

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Movie Reviews: Dead Like Me: Life After Death + All Cheerleaders Die (⊙_⊙;)(⊙_⊙;)(⊙_⊙;)(⊙_⊙;)(⊙_⊙;)

Dead Like Me: Life After Death (2009)

A reunion movie for the tv show about grim reapers that was either annoying, bad or absolutely terrible. This tv movie was all 3 at once. There was exposition and this had a lack of effectiveness and was abhorrently awful. George Lass is dead 5 years after being hit by a toilet seat from the Mir space station: no really.


Ellen Muth has aged badly. Callum Blue of 'Smallville' is annoying. Jasmine Guy scowls and Henry Ian Cusick of 'Lost' is the reapers new bad boss. George's horrible awful father has moved away but her mother is still horrible and awful. People suffer the consequences of the reapers stupidity. This was gratuitous and of no benefit and it does not stir emotions.


The Waffle House burnt down and their old boss Rube has vanished. Mason is unwanted and has an inability to respond in a normal manner. There is egregious contempt and no more post-its. There is animosity and their new boss is bad. TPTB are blissfully unware of the concept of quality. People are deeply embittered and there are old phones. Geroge's sister is now 16. Their mother is still devastatingly annoying. Why do grim reapers need day jobs? George is still at her temp job. Her boss and the creepy secretary lurk. The boss carries her sick cat in a sling.


There is quiet desperation and this was resolutely bland. George's mother is ghastly. I don't care about the traumatising impact of events on people. Mason is a pig. This was really bad and bristles with flaws. There is no reasonable consequence of behaviour. Where are the reapers getting all their clothes, jewels and money? Mason is unreasonable and gratuitous. George is confrontational. A ghost lurks or something. George's sister annoys. This was incompetence. Their new evil boss is taken care of. There is wilful neglect of sense. George talks to her sister. In the show she couldn't talk to her family or she'd lose her memories. FFS. Ashes are blasted into space. Wouldn't the dead reaper boss have turned into a graveling? The mother and sister move. George is the new reaper boss? Who rained the post its on her? Why was all the interesting stuff from the show with the gravelings ditched?


Best Lines:

“Snuffed out by a toilet seat from an old space station.”


“Killed by a toilet seat from outer space in 2003.”


“Toilet seat girl.”


“A selfish heroic act.”


“Where'd she go?”

“Where you can't follow.”


~
All Cheerleaders Die (2013)

Caitlin Stasey of 'Reign' and 'Tomorrow, When The War Began' stars in this horror dreck. Cheerleaders become zombie cannibal succubi. One feels total indifference for this. Characters rant loudly and badly. This cares very little for pleasing viewers. This has no enduring relevance and is needlessly shocking and provocative. A sequel is threatened. This was rotten and a tedious irrelevance.

Tags: lost, movie review, reign, tomorrow when the war began
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