epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: Crawl + The Lost Wife Of Robert Durst + Flatliners (2017) 🥩🍮🍩🍯🥂🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

Crawl (2019)

Kaya Scodelario and Barry Pepper are trapped in the crawlspace of a flooding house in a category 5 hurriance. They are mauled by alligators and fight to survive. They shake off injuries, broken bones, blood loss and water you'd probably get sepsis from by just looking at. There is fleeting joy in this general stupidity that is lively mediocrity that has half considered logic and improbable motivators.

The Lost Wife Of Robert Durst (2017)

Katharine McPhee or 'Smash' stars in this hysterical true story.

Flatliners (2017)

Another reboot/sequel. Ellen Page, Diego Luna, Nina Dobrev, James Norton and Kiefer Sutherland star. One watches this without enthusiasm and with disinterest. Long haired med students have ill-concealed desperation, emotional displays and sleaze. People have excruciating sincerity and tedious self-absorption. There is a useful unused hospital and this was proudly unoriginal. NDEs are explored, again. This was luridly daft and it is staggering banality that is sheer daftness.

The characters have careless complacency. This was nonsense. The students put themselves under with propofol. Sense is openly repudiated. People are wilfully ignorant. What the hell is Luna saying? Things are seen. There is joylessness and no intellectual rigour. There are catalysing events and one has no incentive to care. One is tired of intolerable remakes. There are altercations and clubbing in this malevolent concoction. Darker destructive forces are unleashed. Yeah. And?

Best Lines:

“Oral ulcers.”

“What happens to us after we die?”

“Residency offers.”

“I'm not helping you kill yourself.”

“Then you can stand by the door and make sure no one comes in.”

“Dead. I think.”

“You're all pretty stupid.”

“Whatever threats you make.”

“Cross react.”

Tags: designated survivor, movie review, the vampire diaries

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