epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: Hunter Killer +Heaven +The Remaining +Shocker 👻👻👻👻🦇🦇🦇📩📩📩🍫🍫🍫🍫

Hunter Killer (2018)

The Russian president is kidnapped in a coup and a US sub captain (Gerard Butler) must rescue him in this goodish action movie. This has Gary Oldman, blue ice, anime looking VFX, mentions of Syria and Crimea, mumbling and the sub captain is named Glass which is meant to sound badass.

People have unpleasant natures and ignore compelling evidence. There is no endless tension and no reassuring tone. Nobody is open-natured and there is no quiet time. There are serious consequences to the coup. What does down bubble mean? The trailer gave away the entire plot. People vocally respond to the chaotic events. There are wails and protests and this was enjoyable if not remarkable or extraordinary.

The coup lot seem like violent maniacs. There is hostility and contempt and it takes ages to discern intentions. There are so many stupid people. People are incredibly uncomfortable and the XO is an ass. There is conflict and distrust and unaccountable governance. People try to avoid conflict. There is terrifying willingness by arrogant morons to start a war.

An NSA agent helps, people are visibly irked and somehow no one notices US special forces running around on Russian soil. Russians speak English and then switch to speaking Russian with subtitles and back again. It makes no sense. People are alarmed by the coup and Oldman rants as an admiral. There are active hostilities. Why didn't the coup mob kill the president?

There are possible dire consequences to the coup. The coup guy is more hardline than the president. Were people trying to sabotage the submarine in an unexplained scene? Captain Glass spews ridculous dialogue. There are despicable acts and people with no regard for democratic principles. America will save the day!

There is fear, anger and absolute revulsion. Michael Nyquist and Michael Trucco and Linda Cardellini and Toby Stephens co-star. There is absolute mayhem and people utterly condemn each other. There is diplomatic lunacy and a rapidly changing geopolitical scene. There is international turbulence and brazen initiatives. While not an intellectual and creative asset, it is goodish and perfectly adequate.

Why does one Russian sound American? There are pre-formed ideologies and the risk level gets higher. There are repeated challenges and provocations and no nuanced understanding. Glass makes a principled stand and he has dissent from conventions. Things get really ominious and this film does not loom large in the collective imagination.

There is no meaningful engagement. Glass has ardent opponents. There are gunfights and reasonable negotiations and it is disheartening how many people are idiots. There is infeasibility. Two dudes are left behind and the coup guys cause huge problems.

There is a social crisis and Oldman fans disllusionment. Oldman looks like he suffers from chronic constipation. People are inaccurate and deceptive. Oldman behaves in an unreasoned and downright stupid fashion. There are no logical arguments just irrationality. There is a collective survival strategy. There is a game of manipulation. There are irresponsible reckless acts.

Glass bonds with the Russian president and a Russian sub captain (the late Nyquist). There are argumentative impulses and no reasoning. There is blame shifting and insidious plots and social re-engineering and worrisome levels of war mongering. There is inadvertent ignorance and intelligence resistance and loyal thinking and a negativity instinct. There are sincere depections and deceivers and strategic ignorance and virtuous stupidity. Great calamities are avoided by forceful intervention that is none too subtle. One of Glass' sub crew is a woman. There are serious risks and a serious attempt to engage.

Best Lines:

“All I know down here. I am you.”

“Anger and rage.”

“Was it as bad they say sir?”

“3 subs down.”

“Very different childhoods.”

“My ministers, my parliament and my generals.”

“In my care.”

“I intend to defend.”

“Concerned only with victory.”

“Move it, bastards.”

“Made us look like the aggressors.”

“War footing.”

“The arrogance of this.”

“That's a war ship.”

“You can trust them.”

“I heard.”

“Who fired?”

“Not us.”

“Blast circle.”

“Is she sunk?”

Heaven (2019)

I did not like the Virgina Andrews book this is based on. People hate the hill people Casteel family. Heaven's mother, Angel, was rich but is now dead. The Casteels are poor with hill education. Heaven is a redhead which she wasn't in the book. Heaven's stepmother has a dead baby.

Heaven's useless dad Luke sells his children. Heaven ends up in Julie Benz's house. There are perverts, violence and Heaven's sister Fanny shags a preacher. Luke and his second wife Sarah vanish from the plot. The Casteels are regarded as hill scum. Heaven likes new boy Logan but he is awful and useless. Kitty (Benz) dies and Heaven is shamed for being abused by Kitty's useless hubby Cal. Heaven wants to find Angel's family. This was badly written, badly acted and plain MEDIOCRE.

Best Lines:

“This is his best?”

“Real deep clean.”


The Remaining (2014)

A wedding goes awry due to the Rapture. This was rubbish.

Shocker (1989)

Peter Berg and Mitch Pileggi star in this Wes Craven flop. A serial killer kills people. The killer Pinker is a nutter who stalks a teenage boy. The boy's foster dad hates him. Pinker is also a satanist. The boy (Berg) takes on Pinker all by himself after Pinker returns from the dead after being executed. And guess what the boy is Pinker's very own son! This would be franchise never got off the ground. This was BAD. Instead of acting PEOPLE SHOUT ALL THEIR LINES.

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