epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows +Quarries+Gossip + 2 others

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows (2016)

This franchise killing sequel has no appealing qualities and was made by culture traitors. This has a bad wig, Baxter Stockman, Stephen Amell showing off his shoddy acting as Casey Jones, Bebop and Rocksteady, Krang, the turtlevan and Laura Linney. Shredder escapes jail and this was cataclysmically uninspiring and this should be on a pedestal of infamy. It has no visceral intensity. There is ooze, CGI, incoherence and Hollywood: they just ruin everything. This was intensely repellent and people make intensely stupid decisions.

Best Lines:

“Bring the extraction plan.”

“Bunch of swamp things living in an underground amusement park and have, forgive me, the most pretentious names ever.”

“A warmachine that would end all life.”

“Jacked up disco ball.”

“It's like a chewed up piece of gum! With a face!”

Quarries (2016)

A killer on a hiking trail removes and silences people. Yawn.

Gossip (2008)

A woman returns to her hometown and is subjected to gossip. This was so very very dumb.

The Third Man (1949)

There is a kitten, ill feeling and I've no idea what this weary tale of fateful passion was about.

Best Line:

“International zone.”

A Surrogate's Nightmare (2017)
Poppy Montgomery stars in this idiot tale of a surrogate.

Tags: arrow, movie review

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