epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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Movie Reviews Troops + Life + The Way, Way Back + The Nice Guys 📕📔📖📘📚📚✂⌛⏳

Troops (1997)

A 'Star Wars' fanfilm that spoofs 'COPS' and is too long.


Best Line:

“All suspects are guilty. Otherwise they wouldn't be suspects.”


~
Life (2017)

This sci fi /survival horror takes place on the ISS. There is exposition and Hollywood is sclerotic. This was okay. Attempts to survive are doomed to failure. A lifeform from Mars is found. Grandiose claims are made. There is lacklustre and excruciatingly and embarrassingly underwhelming acting by Ryan Reynolds, her from 'The White Queen' and Hiroyuki Sanada from 'Helix'.


There is excessive cynicism and David is weird. Calamity will unfold, eventually. We were better off alone. Jake Gyllenaal broods as David. The lifeform uses tools and scampers around meancing people and kills a poor rat. People die.


The ISS crew are authors of their own misfortune and are dumb. The ISS is gorund zero for something truly terrible. The lifeform has homicidal sadism and can climb walls. Ther are no malevolent levels of complexity. The lifeform has the capability and motivation to kill and use tools. It clearly represents a risk.


There is no quarantine. The ISS looks bigger than it is now. David broods some more and looks high. We see the monster's POV. What are oxygen canfles? David is a pilot? I thought he was a doctor! With enormous speed and rapidity the creature grows. There is no decisive blow struck. People try to destory the creature which leads to disastrous consequences. This was okay. The creature was hellbent on confrontation. What was the creature doing to David in the lifeboat? Was it eating him? Shagging him?


Best Lines:

“8 month return from Mars.”


“We'll reach atmosphere soon.”


“Orbital decay.”


“Risk all human life.”


“Riding us down into the atmosphere.”


“No life support. No life.”


“They're not coming to rescue us.”


“They're pushing us out to deep space.”


“He thinks its a rescue.”


“We're not going to survive re-entry.”


“Default entry trajectory.”


“We never trained for this.”


“Pilgrim capsule.”


“You're creepy that way.”


“Under-bathed nation.”


“Educated opinion.”


“I can't let you out.”


“Stipulated in writing.”


“How smart is this thing?”


“Hostile and deadly.”


“Launch suit.”


~
The Way, Way Back (2013)

Toni Collette and a particularly odious Steve Carell star. Toni is a BAD mother who sees the depth of her boyfriend Trent's malevolence toward her sad unhappy son and does NOTHING. She lets her abusive boyfriend berate her son and attack him. Nobody has redeeming qualities. Trent has a brat kid and this was an utter failure. People are idiots and the useless mother lets her son be subjected to particularly harrowing unthinkable callousness.


Best Line:

“You're the worst parent.”


~
The Nice Guys (2016)

Go away Ryan Gosling.

Tags: helix, movie review, the white queen
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