epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: Midsommar+Heaven Knows Mr Allison+TheBoySheMetOnline+Donkey Punch+Cobra+1 more

Midsommar (2019)

This slightly unpleasant film does not deal in unease and it is not laden with disquiet. Florence Pugh plays a whiner who has a useless boyfriend whose decisions are thoughtless. She also has a dead family and is sad. This leads to him, her and his useless friends ending up in a Swedish commune which exists in undisturbed isolation.

They plan to see the commune's ritual. No good comes of this plan. This was dull and ridiclious. It seemed like it would never end. This was not an affecting drama. The boyfriend's decisions are thoughtless and he has contempt and disregard. This movie leaves you increasingly frustrated.

Best Line:

“Meat pies.”

Heaven Knows Mr Allison (1957)

A nun and marine end up in a warzone in WWII. Deborah Kerr and Robert Mitchum star and John Huston directed. You're meant to care about the character dynamics, you don't.

The Boys She Met Online (2010)

An idiot meets a perv online. This does not work well in his favour. So much for her moment of defiance. There is helpless doom.

Donkey Punch (2008)

This sleazy and sexist and full of bad moral decisions. This was beyond ridiculous and reprenensible.

Cobra (1986)

Crime is a disease, meet the cure. Sylvester Stallone, Brian Thompson and Bridgitte Nielsen star in this grubby action movie. Cobra (Stallone) takes on an army of fanatical psychos. There is a killer in the city. Andrew Robinson and David Rasche co star. Nielsen shows she can actually act as she wears a wig. There is no grating realism or ethical implications.

How To Lose Friends And Alienate People (2008)

Simon Pegg is in this, you have been warned. This is based on a true story. Danny Huston is in this. An English dog killing gay panic afflicted reporter goes to work for a US magazine. I think we're meant to be glad when he physically assaults his actress girlfriend on a live tv awards show. This was crap.

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