epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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STDS9 5x22 + Stitchers (2015-2017) 1x01 Reviewed 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒

Children Of Time

The Defiant crew learn their ship will (thanks to technobabble) crash on a distant planet after being thrown back in time. They meet a colony of their 8000 descendants. This is a good enjoyable ep which makes the dark downer ending a shock. Oddly Odo's terrible act is never addressed again. Dax meets the new Dax host who acts like he's on drugs. If the Dax symbiont was passed to Jadzia's descendants for 3 generations, then she and her descendants have to have reproduded with non Trills. So how could people who were not full Trills host the symbiont?

O'Brien meets his descendants and SHOUTS. Worf set up another colony full of Klingon wannabes. The Defiant crashed 200 years before the wormhole was discovered and no doubt didn't want to attract the attention of the Dominion, who oddly are not mentioned in this ep. We don't meet Bashir's descendants. There is exposition. The Odo/Kira ship was foul.

Best Line:

“No way back to the Alpha Quadrant.”

A Stitch In Time

A woman with an obvious eating disorder and emotional issues is distanced from her own life and disconnected from emotion in this pilot which shows quite genuine ineptitude. The woman has a bitchy roommate (who in later eps was revealed to be an NSA spy – which makes no sense). Various people are smug. The 'heroine' has no time perception. She was at CalTech? Yet is made to work for a mysterious agency that can talk to dead decaying brains.

There is vocal fry, stupid names and made up technology. This was disastrous. The 'heroine' is made to wear a stupid catsuit. Nobody has disquiet about the whole talking to the dead thing. This was far fetched and preposterous. These characters live to infuriate and have repugnant views. This was abysmal. How do brains collapse? This makes no sense and has no bleak insights.

There are devious people and no cultural impact. Objective truth is fading out of the world. This was not emotionally resonant just futility. This goes badly wrong. There is an annoying cop and the 'heroine' has issues about her father. This was facile.

Best Lines:

“You're the detective. Detect.”

“Academic sabotage.”

“Saw no benefit in me.”

“I don't know what time's like.”

“Already not interested.”

“Bounce yourself out of the memory.”

“Make the bounce!”

“Unsocialised nerds and girls in catsuits.”


Tags: review, star trek

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