epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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Movie Reviews: Willow + The Black Hole + Where Are My Children + Liz & Dick

Willow (1988)
This was a lot of nonsensical plot devices and fatuity. This was a bog standard heroic fantasy movie that starred Warwick Davis, Jean Marsh, Val Kilmer and Joanne Whalley. This box office flop was awfulness and it was horrifically bad.

People make all the wrong decisions in life. This was full of banal scenarios and it is squalid horror mediocrity. This absurdly implausible ridiculously grandiose film has varying degrees of plausibility.

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The Black Hole (2006)
This was utterly tepid and simply ludicrous. Kristy Swanson and Judd Nelson star in this rubbish in which a hole is discussed.

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Where Are My Children (1994)
Marg Helegenberger, Corbin Bernsen, Christopher Noth and Jerry Hardin star in this tale of a 1960s single mother who is arrested for a petty crime. She is jailed and her children are stolen and illegally adopted. She’s judged as she spends 20 years looking for them. She has another baby and marries Noth who turns out to be violent. No one helps. She marries again to Bernsen. Time passes and she finds two of them. This was dull.

Best Lines:
“I don’t want no trouble!”

“I am not loose!”

“You’re young, you can have more.”

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Liz & Dick (2012)
Lindsay Lohan and Grant Bowler and Theresa Russell and Charles Shaughnessy star in this bio-pic. This was much mocked but has nice opening credits. Lohan’s horrible and obvious lip fillers aren’t very period centric.

Bowler does a horrible imitation of Richard Burton’s accent. Lohan’s accent is all wrong. Taylor and Burton have their love affair in this camp film which one is not uniquely fortunate to watch.

Best Lines:
“Than he really started drinking.”

“Welsh Don Juan.”

“Won’t you join us?”
“Oh god no.”

“A love scene? With him?!?!”
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