epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
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epiphany_maria

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Movie Reviews: It Comes At Night+Resident Evil: Retribution+Rocky III+Stranger In My Bed+ 7 others

It Comes At Night (2017)
This was incoherent. A small minded and often dim man bothers people in the post-apoc. Everything that goes wrong is his fault. What was in the woods?

~
Resident Evil: Retribution (2012)
This sequel performs disastrously. Milla Jovovich and her catsuit smacks evil. This was not a defining moment in cinema. There are 2 other women in stripperific outfits. I felt this was unimportant. However the final scene with the White House surrounded by zombies was a good scene and brilliantly unnerving.

Best Lines:
“The testing floor.”

“I know exactly who and what you are.”

~
Rocky III (1982)
Mr T, Burgess Meredith and Hulk Hogan feature in this naff sequel.

Best Lines:
“Ever fought a dinosaur?”

“Local Youth Foundation.”

“The ultimate male.”

“You’re all trash!”

“Kill you to death.”

~
Stranger In My Bed (2005)
Jamie Luner stars in this ridiculous TV movie.

~
Vault Of Horror (1973)
A lad crew are in peril in this UK horror which stars Anna Massey, Glynis Johns and Tom Baker. This has a town full of vampires, a cleaning obsessed man and various people getting got. This was dull.

~
Airtight (1999)
There is exposition and this sci-fi film was of no interest. In fact it was pretty terrible.

~
The Brothers Grimsby (2016)
Mark Strong co-stars in a comedy that leaves you in despair for humanity. This was full of gross out jokes, sex jokes and it was not intellectually sophisticated. This was totally destructive to humanity. This was maddeningly confusing and it has no horrid charms. Isla Fisher and Rebel Wilson lurk alongside Johnny Vegas, Ricky Tomlinson, David Harewood and Penelope Cruz.

Best Lines:
“I’ll burn your school down.”

“Ukrainian Ben Affleck!”

“Gallagher is also being sought for abusing an elephant in conjunction with ‘Fast & Furious’ star Vin Diesel.”

“Are you a Vin Diesel impersonator?”

“Harry Potter has AIDS!”

~
Ma (2019)
Octavia Spencer, Juliette Lewis and Luke Evans star in this dull tale of a maniac (a damaged one) who ‘befriends’ a gang of teens for nefarious reasons. People make foolish choices and aren’t self-preserving leading to non sinisterly catastrophic consequences.

This was absolutely horrific and not mesmerically compelling. This was not a harrowing vision of the alarmingly disaffected. There was no one I much liked in this and I felt bitterly scornful.

~
Baby Driver (2017)
Kevin Spacey plays a gangster who dies a karmic death in this tale of an annoying getaway driver. This as grim business that was violent and incoherent. There is retaliation and egomaniacal fury and people acting contrary to morals. Jon Bernthal, Jon Hamm and Lily James co star in this tale of figures of responsibility behaving badly.

Best Lines:
“Bandit glass.”

“Your tattoo says hat.”
“It used to say hate. But to increase my chances of employment, I got the e removed.”
“How’s that working out for you?”

“I can’t be seen in there.”

“Nasal problem.”

~
Missing Children (1982)
Mare Winningham stars in this annoying TV movie that has no profound conviction.

~
The Circle (2017)
This was based on the good book. Emma Watson, Tom Hanks, Bill Paxton and the annoying woman who played Amy Pond on ‘Doctor Who’ star. Hanks plays the cult like leader of a tech company. Privacy is violated. This was not good and even Watson can't make her character a good person. Stick with the book, not this reviled flop.
Tags: batman1966, doctor who, house of cards, movie review
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