epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Batman 3x14&3x16 + Impact (2009) Part 2 Reviewed

Catwoman’s Dressed To Kill
The duo’s unending war against crime goes on. Catwoman shows up and is now played by Eartha Kitt. Nobody comments. Catwoman unleashes unrestrained violence. Bruce takes Dick shopping for the prom. Bruce says they should change into their costumes in the limo. No comment.

Nobody notices Bruce Wayne getting his clothes off in the backseat of his limo with his underage ward. His limo has curtains in the backseat. That is just creepy and weird. Gotham has social acceptance of weirdness. Catwoman has special notoriety. Barbara doesn’t appear to work. Dick never seems to go to school. Batman is sexist. This was delicious and delightful.

Catwoman plans to turn Batgirl into a man-vest. Alfred dresses as a hippy. This was okay. I won’t comment on the whole issue of Robin’s body existing to serve Batman and his supposedly higher purpose.

Best Lines:
“We better get home.”

“Leg it.”

“Must we use force?”


“Just what are you doing, and to whom are you doing it?”

“The much-admired Batman and his youthful companion?”

“Holy crucial moment.”

The Funny Feline Felonies
Joker gets out of jail AGAIN. Bruce is on the parole board. FFS. Catwoman drives a hideous tacky obvious car. She has a red tabby. Catwoman has a catgun. Batman humps the carpet. Batman is sexist. Barbara wears a coat that looks like someone puked it onto her.
Robin fights off 2 henchmen on a revolving circular bed. No comment. There is a coffee stain on the batsuit. Louie Long and Dick Kallman guest star. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Evilly clever.”

“Hotel Sleazy.”

“Good citizenship and fine deeds.”

“Dynamic dimwits.”

“Batcreep to the window.”

“I’d rather shake hands with a spitting cobra!”

Impact (2009) Part 2
There is combative misery, sap and padding in this mess. One feels unmitigated contempt for this confusing film. A reporter is stupid and there is endless techno babble and nonchalance. There is wilful ignorance, stupidity, boredom and irredeemable characters.
Tags: batman1966, review

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