epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Batman 3x01&3x01+The Flash 5x22+Summer Of Rockets 1x01+Bloodline 1x03+STDS9 5x01+Riverdale 2x19

Enter Batgirl, Exit Penguin

The show is retooled. There are no more cliffhangers and Batgirl debuts. Gordon wants Bruce Wayne to date his daughter. ICK! Robin and Batman fondle their poles. No comment. Barbara Gordon has fake nails, a baby voice, a neon orange coat and she works in a library.

Penguin abducts Barbara. The opening credits change. Burt Ward said the season 3 showrunner wrecked the show. He's not wrong. Yvonne Craig plays Batgirl. There is no Aunt Harriet in this ep. YAY! What is an afternoon paper? Gordon has a secret key to Barbara's flat? Batgirl isn't long awaited. This ep was not responsible for entertaining me.

Penguin causes a social crisis as he threatens to marry Babs. Yet he isn't arrested for intent to defile. Gordon says only one man can help him. What is Robin? Chopped liver? Dick always clenches his fists. Ease up Kylo Ren! Babs won't succumb quietly. Batman is venerated. Babs is not amenable. Why does Babs have a commitment to being a vigilante?

Babs has a costume and a secret lair and a red wig. Why did she take on the bat mantle? Albert knows who Batgirl is. She rides a tacky Batgirl cycle. Dick passes his driving test and Brcue doesn't seem to eager to let him drive the batmobile. It's Dick's birthday. The Riddler shows up. In the end credits Adam West's name is bigger than anyone elses.

Best Lines:

“Force her to consent.”

“Bruce Wayne and that witless ward of his.”

“Millionaire joyboy!”

Ring Around The Riddler

Riddler is fixing boxing. Bruce has a huge ugly clunky tv. There is an ugly statue. Gordon doesn't recognise Batgirl. Is she flirting with Batman? Riddler glitterbombs. There were tv remotes in 1969? O'Hara stares gormlessly. Robin drives the batmobile, we don't see it. Joan Collins plays Siren. Riddler has a moll.

Riddler calls Batman a chicken which leads to a boxing match. Batman wears boxing trunks over his batsuit. Aunt Harriet shows up. FFS! Riddler has boxing trunks over his bodystocking. Did Batman just insult Robin's height?

When did O'Hara get his wits back? Why is Batman so stupid in this ep? Where his Batgirl hiding her Batgirl togs whilst she's at the boxing match? There is bad ADR and Siren strikes. The original Riddler is back for his last guest spot on this show. He should have stayed away.

Best Lines:

“Night: a cloak for sinners!”

“It looks like undesirable elements have once again infiltrated the manly art of self-defense.”

“This is ridiculous, he's smaller than you are.”

“Unchallenged nut.”

“Secret Batgirl nook.”

“Holy sudden incapacitation.”

“Beware of strong stimulants Robin.”


Barry and Iris' whining halts tension. I want Ralph and his bohemian ennui gone. People take umbrage at Thawne's latest ramapge. People have a less than scandalised response to Nora dying. There is a cultural convergence of dumb. None of this makes any sense. I don't care about Nora. Cisco takes the meta cure and leaves. Barry could care less. Fake Wells leaves. TPTB keep inflicting Ralph on us. There is bad acting and really bad overacting. The gang bully a child. Singh leaves his job and Joe gets it for no good reason. Singh knows about Barry, of course he does. Barry tries to lie to Singh. Just stop lying you pram faced twat. God I hate this show now.

Summer Of Rockets (2019) 1x01

This boring BBC2 drama stars Toby Stephens, Keeley Hawes, Linus Roache, Timothy Spall and Peter Firth. I couldn't be less interested. This bores to the point of inertia.

Bloodline 1x03

I'm done with his show. It did have nice opening credits. Bring back 'Hyperion Bay'. Danny is the family scapegoat for his abusive dysfunctional family. Danny is actively misrepresented and constantly accused of false actions and intentions. Danny's siblings have a significant negative impact on him and they are a genuinely malevolent force.

Nothing is ever satisfactorily explained. Danny is accused of bringing shame and discredit on the family. The manipulative controlling and violent father is worshipped. This is painfully bad and people are awful to Danny with complete impunity. Why is Danny subejct to undisguised loathing?

Meg does her father's will to cut out Danny. WTF is their problem? Why si there a Jesus statue underwater when Danny goes scuba diving? The father has damage from his stroke. Good. What is with all the resentment and rage against Danny? The family fake domestic goodwill. Why is Danny perceived as an enemy? People don't go out and seek Danny's company.

The family prioritise their own needs. Why are there such long pondered reservations about Danny? His family are hostile accusers. Meg's hot boyfriend plays with his gun. This leaves one unsatisfied. Women in short shorts strut. Who did Meg kill?

Best Lines:

“I don't remember this.”

“You're not her.”

“Army of boyfriends.”

“I don't judge you.”

“Fix the past.”

“Specalised eco-system.”

“No-one's ever good enough for her. Just like the rest of your family.”

Apocalypse Rising

There are Klingons, pregnancy joke and Dukat wears a lot of bling. There is bad Klingon makeup and boredom. This was TERRIBLE.

A Night To Remember

What became of Archie playing football? Wasn't Jughead sent to another school? They're doing the 'Carrie' musical? Wasn't Archie's dad shot? Archie can't sing at all. Of course Archie plays Tommy and Betty plays Sue and Veronica plays Chris and yet Cheryl is Carrie.

Cheryl is repugnant and cruel. The four have a bitter dispute. This is a dull plod that is shoddy and implausible. Veronica is bad. Who's the Black Hood? Bad songs are sung. There is no context as scenes begin and end. This was not intellectually rigorous. This was dreary drama and Veronica's parents plot.

This was unhurried and interminably dull. The fat and plain are seen by others as a threat. There are no good and trusting relationships. FP works in the diner. Alice bores. People are openly hostile and not really into rational debate. Veronica's dad does bad guy monologues. This is on its way to failure. Fred bullies Archie. This was dispiriting.

This was not ingenious. Betty has a visceral reaction to Veronica. Archie lies. There is baffling oscillation of friendships. There is no emotional crescedno or carefully wrought scehemes. This was absurdly indulgent, staid and vulgar. This was bonkers. Cheryl's mother is awful. There is deadened alienating dialogue and miserableness. This was absurdly contrived. How is Alice in the play? Someone is murdered.

Best Lines:

“This school's gonna burn.”

“Conspiring with her parents against the entire school.”

“Make her good and sorry.”

“Sends menacing note.”

Tags: batman1966, flash, review, riverdale, star trek

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