Black Widow Strikes Again
Black Widow (not that one) arrives in town. Why does a woman need to reveal her marital status to get a bank account? The network wanted male baddies not female baddies. Aunt Harriet wants to go mod. The Black Widow is played by Tallulah Bankhead. Robin is utterly disgusted by Black Widow hitting on him. This was good.
“Where the human brain is concerned, they're just not equipped.”
“Just as it should bother any red-blooded American citizen who recognizes the law and obeys it.”
“Constantly fighting evil.”
“Categorically against evil.”
Caught In The Spider's Web
2 giant plastic spiders meance the duo. You can the strings controlling the spiders! Black Widow short circuts Batman's brain. At least Batman when brainwashed by Black Widow didn't punch Robin in the face. Batman in the comics does that to his Robins, a lot. Black Widow has a web phone. Robin is the boy hostage. The image gets all weird when Black Widow is on screen. Robin pulls an epic and never surpassed troll on the brain fried Batman. There are choice points. Batman brainwashes Black Widow. This was okay. Batman is back to being socially assertive.
“NO! I WILL NOT SUBMIT TO YOUR TREACHERY!”
Survive The Night
There's been an erosion of democratic norms in town. There's a cult in town. People wonder if Jason Blossom is still alive. There is organ stealing and Cheryl's mother has recovered from her burns. There is death and Cheryl's mother drugs someone.
Where is Archie's dad? There is weirdness and Betty's dad is running around. There is no moral education. Who is the 2nd killer? Who is Chic? I've no idea. Jason Blossom is indeed dead and rotting. Mrs Blossom hates Riverdale. There is exposition and a forced LARP. Cheryl shrieks and Chad Michael Murray guest stars.
Cheryl wears dark red lipstick. There is an inexorable path. Archie fights. There is corrosive cynicism and hollowness and a lack of seriousness. Who is baby Juniper? Who are the crazies working for Mrs Blossom? Who are Cheryl's bow and arrow brigade? Angry bikers attack. Where did the cult (along with Alice and Polly) vanish to?
Jason's graverobbed body is kept by Cheryl. Where did Mrs Blossom run off to? Mrs Lodge is arrested. Mr Lodge runs his jail. The FBI show up and an agent is Betty's half brother and Jughead's half brother. There is a flashforward to a blood soaked Archie, Veronica and Betty and no sign of Jughead. Is Jughead going to die?!? This was good.
“2 serial killers running around.”
“You're a terrible serial killer!”
“Never ending madness.”
“House of the devil.”
“The hunt is afoot.”
“Rotting fetid truth.”
“As dark hearted as the town that birthed you.”
“As brainwashed as Patty Hearst was.”
“Everything bad that has happened in the last 3 years.”
“Done with death cults and murder mysteries.”
For The Cause
The Maquis (remember that long forgotten plot?) plan a theft. What became of the DMZ? Why did Dukat hate Garak? There are nefarious ulterior motives all round. O'Brien defends the Maquis, no comment. Jake wears space clothes that look like onesies. Various people are ideologically motivated and a danger to morality and hostile to civic norms. Eddington is Maquis and he goes on an anti-UFP rant. There is some real bad acting in this.
Based on a book, this 'romance' is told through the POV of an ugly stalker who stalks some manic pixie dream girl. She has a useless rich boyfriend and there is disturbing and appalling behaviour from the stalker. If she's so broke, how does she afford a HUGE apartment? Why does she not have curtains? She engages in sex and self-pleasure in full sight of her HUGE picture windows which face onto a main street! FFS! The stalker has a scumbag neighbour who can see the stalker for who he is. The manic pixie dreamgirl has idiot friends, one of whom is Shay Mitchell. There is no growing meance only a cringe poetry reading and drunkness and stupidity. This is not a disturbing insight into the mind of a stalker.
“Boarding school bred.”
“Too sun kissed for Stephen King.”
“Like you've never seen a horror movie. Or the news.”
“Smiles and lies.”
“Bulemic dead eyed real moms.”
“Questionable taste in friends.”
“Expensive taste in lives.”
“Waste of hair.”
“THAT'S WHY NOBODY STARTS THEIR OWN ARTISANAL SODA COMPANY!”