epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: CrackInThe World+FletchLives+John Wick+Landmine GoesClick+PersonalShopper+Painkillers

Crack In The World (1965)

Dana Andres and Janette Scott star in this tale of scientists who cause a global disaster. The Earth is on the cliffedge of potential disaster. It perpetually teters. Scientists have the demon pomposity and endless adoration of themselves. There is bad acting and nobody's extremely distressed at disaster. Something hellish will be unleashed, eventually.

Terrifying stories of what is to come, eventually, are told. They were trauma-informed but did stupid things anyway. It all ends badly as the nukes don't work. TPTB desperately need to stop what they've set in motion. This was awful. Their solution to the nuke they set off is to fire another. What's a radio phone? This was cheap looking. People protect themselves from a nuke blast with red glass. WTF?

Best Lines:

“Save the world. Or destroy it.”

“Insane risk you're taking!”

Fletch Lives (1989)

This was full of sexism and Chevy Chase shouting. Chase doesn't care about a woman dying. There are gay jokes and this was bad.

Best Lines:

“What's the charge?”

“Pissing me off.”

John Wick (2014)

This Keanu Reeves film spawned 2 sequels. Punks piss off the wrong badass. This was a grubby rage frenzy that was culturally inert.

Landmine Goes Click (2015)

3 annoying hikers hike. One stands on a mine cue a crazy boyfriend, revenge ploys, sleaze, death, man-pain and bleakness.

Best Line:

“Dig bitch!”

Personal Shopper (2016)

Kristen Stewart and her one facial expression stares. This was dull and full of mumbling.

Painkillers (2015)

Mischa Barton and Grant Bowler star in this useless vampire tale.

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