epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Spider-Man + Avengers + DCeased Issue 1 + Vampirella Reviewed 🌹🌹❤💕💋💋🌹🌹❤❤💕💕💋💋

Spider-Man: Free Comic Book Day

There is exposition. Eddie Brock isn't Venom anymore. Brock is Carnage now. This intrigued. Spider-Man and the other Spider-Man bond over pizza. Fisk is mayor. This was okay and it has some compelling and disturbing elements.

Best Lines:

“So you guys can do the big team-up thing.”

“He's their god. They imprisoned him inside their planet.”

“Trying to get into the old Avengers tower.”

“I ain't feeling too patient.”

Avengers: Free Comic Book Day

I've no idea what's going on here. There's a prison galaxy and time travel. Stark behaves in a hubristic arrogant fashion, as always. This was life-numbing. Meanwhile Wolverine kills people as does Elektra. This was not vastly consequential. I've no idea what is going on. This was not pathos rich and it has no unsettling gravity. This was an abject failure and trails of mayhem are wreaked.

Best Line:

“Hell's gonna take whoever I find.”

DCeased Issue 1

Going Viral

This is like 'Marvel Zombies'. This 6 part saga kicks off. Darkseid is evil. Why doesn't Superman lock him up? Dick Grayson is Nightwing and not the shot in the head loser he's been made into in his own title.

Batman is a fascist jerk. Green Arrow and Black Canary are seen. Darkseid plots. What is a Motherbox? Who is Black Racer? The zombie apocalypse is unleashed. Superman and Lois Lane have a son. After living lives based on obedience and submission and living their lives to please Bruce, zombie Tim and zombie Dick eat him alive. This was good. This tells us something rather terrifying about the future of humanity. The biohacking spreads.

Best Lines:

“Superman breaking the jaw of a god.”

“I thought that was going really well, right up to that last ominious sentence.”

“Were you just waiting in the corridor to make a good entrance?”

“The world is screaming.”

Vampirella: Free Comic Book Day

This grates on me in a way I can't take. A vampire in a porno swimsuit has incoherent portenous adventures. This was terrifyingly joyless.

Tags: comics

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