epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: Captain Fantastic + Master Of The World 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Captain Fantastic (2016)

Viggo Mortensen and Frank Langella star in this dreadful film. A family of preppers live in the woods. The mother dies off screen and unnoticed. The crazy prepper/hippie Ben heads off to annoy his father in law at his wife's funeral. Ben is a terrible father and tries to get his children to kill sheep and won't feed his children when they won't kill said sheep. Ben shoplifts and insults his family. Ben's kids are just terrible. They crash the funeral and act like crazy people. Ben doesn't want his eldest son to go to college. He causes serious injury to his daughter. To hell with Ben and his brats and their grave desecration, I did not like this, it was not a pleasant visual. The poor grandparents lose their grandkids and then Ben laughs as he flushes his dead wife's ashes down an airport toilet. FFS. This is a horror movie. Ann Dowd of 'The Handmaid's Tale' was in this.

Best Lines:

“Wherever you are. Stay there. You are not welcome here!”

“Everyone's so fat!”

“You made us freaks!”

“What's cola?”

“Poison water.”

Master Of The World (1961)

Vincent Price and Charles Bronson star in this tale of screeching dated incoherence.

Tags: handmaids tale, movie review, the crossing

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