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Chilling Adventures of Sabrina 1x07&1x08+The Boscombe Valley Mystery+Victoria 3x05+ 5 others

Chapter Seven: Feast Of Feasts

Thanksgiving has come. Sabrina learns her family has been invited to a Feast in which someone will be ritually sacrificed. This show causes total and utter frustration, Sabrina never leads a life of any quality. Is Madam Satan the only teacher in school? Trouble is inexorably oncoming admid the narrative wobbles. Witches have moral bankruptcy and are morally dubious.

Harvey's grandfather (Michael Hogan) shows up. Harvey learns his family have a secret. This show is a morass of mediocrity. Madam satan has callous intentions. Witches do unspeakable hideousness. Roz's grandmother goes on about The Cunning. Prudence snots. The town is a grim urban landscape. A plan of Sabrina's implodes in ignominy. Sabrina has to be Prudence's handmaiden. Prudence has an orgy in the attic.

What happened to Sabrina's school club? Prudence snarls at Harvey. The dead witch boy is mentioned but not his poor familiar. A witch's familiar is shot. People are socially locked into the past. Prudence is morally and socially indefensible. Roz patronises. Lady Blackwood hates Prudence. There is no high moral standing or piety. Lady Blackwood is on about traditonal values and family lineage.

Lord Blackwood has a type. How many children does he have? Truth cake is eaten. Lord Blackwood is an abuser. Prudence sits on a throne of skulls. The witch boy's parents die. The weird sisters cause a mine accident.

Best Lines:

“Can anyone explain why it looks like 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' has been nailed to our door?”

“Return to our rituals.”

“The hillpeople scared the townsfolk.”

“And you believe that?”

“With absolute certainty.”

“Those hill people.”

“Your beau is a witch hunter.”

“I swear to satan.”

“Slut sisters.”

“Dark tidings.”

“Righteous messenger.”

Chapter Eight: The Burial

Salem is seen. Witches have a black friday. Harvey's brother died in the mine accident. Susie goes into the mine. Harvey's dad is always fuming and incandescent. This causes no investment of character. Harvey feels growing unease and concern. Harvey's dad only wants Tommy's life insurance.

There are ethical challenges. There's a plot of soil in the Spellman graveyard that can raise the dead, like 'Pet Semetary'. Cain's garden is mentioned. Sabrina gets a bad idea. Ambrose has his boyfriend Luke who Hilda roofied into showing up. Why is Harvey a high school student allowed to work in the mine? Where is Harvey's grandfather? Harvey's dad is an opportunist. Harvey and his dad have a fight at the funeral and knock the casket over.

Nobody's too concerned about the dead witch boy and his dead parents. Tommy got into Notre Dame but didn't go to protect his brother. Madam satan has big hair. Ambrose knows Crowley? Zelda wails and gets shagged by Lord Blackwood. Susie's haunted. Black lipstick is popular at witch school. I do not like Nick Scratch. Sabrina sacrifices someone to bring Tommy back.

Sabrina is all evil tastes good. Ambrose rants. Sabrina messes with potent wicked forces. She brings her sacrifice back. Shame Agatha didn't stay dead. There are thigh gaps all aorund. A creepy snail is seen. Lord Blackwood goes all '50 Shades Of Grey' on Zelda. Things get 'Monkey's Paw' with Tommy.

Best Lines:

“By and large a no no.”

“No limits.”

“Compsoe ourselves.”

“Halfway house for wayward witches!”

“Your venomous sisters.”

“Blood atonement.”

“Pay the debts she owes.”

“Invoke the hounds.”

“The hounds invoked, the door opened, the price paid in blood.”


“Bulldozer of a father.”

“Necromancy is the darkest and most dangerous of the sacred magics.”

Sherlock Holmes: The Boscombe Valley Mystery

A man is charged with murdering his dad. This was badly thought out and I felt out and out derison and scorn for it. It did however feature a young James Purefoy of 'The Following' as the murder suspect.

A Show Of Unity

The Fenians protest. Victoria is wilfully ignorant of the Irish desire for independence. She was wilfully ignorant of the horrifying consequences of the famine. Whenever Albert shows up, it is tension tightening. He has hired a tutor for Bertie without consulting Victoria. Albert is coldly unpleasant.

Victoria has no concept of duty and responsibility. Albert has selfish behaviour and is a vibe kill. This show has long term mediocrity. Victoria's half sister stirs the pot. Victoria faces populist hatred on a visit to Ireland. Albert has barely disguised and completely unwarrented passive aggressive fury for his wife and others. The Duchess is sad.

Victoria wants affirmation from the community. The Duke mocks his wife in public. Albert sees immorality everywhere. There is no contented atmosphere. This was ludicrously untimely. There is talk of an open marriage. Albert makes malicious implications. Victoria is pregnant again. The Duchess and the footman have it off in the dunes. A man sits in a wicker chair. Albert screams at a poacher.

Albert is a tool. Victoria wears a shamrock dress. Albert always has boyband hair. Victoria visits Dublin. Albert berates his wife. The Duke screams about retribution. The half sister plots. Victoria is consumed by fury when Bertie's seemingly kindly tutor beats him up.

Best Lines:

“No British monarch has set foot in Ireland since the Middle Ages.”

“You are ungallent.”

“Step away sir.”

“The household is concerned.”


“I have not.”

Shadowhunters 3x19

Aku Cinta Kamu

Bane and his dad chat in a flurry of bad acting. Simon whines. FFS nobody cares about those characters! Jonathan manipulates and coerces. There is incompetence. Bane tantrums like a child. Poor Maia gets too much plot focus. Bane shrieks in rage. The now human vampire shows up. Maia learns how selfish Simon is. Bane has simmering resentment. Evil Clary is smug. Jonathan is fractious and agitated.

We get endless Bane and Alec flashbacks. NOBODY CARES! This causes irritability. There's a kill order on Jonathan and Clary. Jonathan is taunting and antagonistic. Bane is stupid. This was horrendous. Why is Maia allowed to stomp around the Institute? How do you make a serum into a sword?

Jace, Clary and Jonathan hang out in a club where the chandelier is made out of Sahdowhunter bones. People act in ridiculous and indecorous ways. Jace gets high. Jonathan has contempt and indifference. When did Izzy become a blacksmith and why is she doing blacksmith work in a sleeveless top with her massive hair extensions everywhere?!? Heavenly fire is seen. Izzy makes a plastic looking sword. Jonathan is undignifed and callous. There is no raw truth.

Clary gets all 'Flowers In The Attic' over her brother. Clary does callous treatment of Jace. Bane tantrums over losing his twink. Stupidity is downright inconvenient and it causes negativity and resentment. Bane hugs his demon dad. This was better than most recent season 3 eps.

Best Lines:

“Did daddy not teach you that?”

“Don't pretend to care about me.”

The Americans 6x04

Mr And Mrs Teacup

Oleg and Philip chat and Oleg passes on ominious news from home. Stuff happens in murky scenes where I've no idea what is happening. Philip talks to Kimmy. Paige and her mother bond. Elizabeth wants Paige to work into the State Department or the CIA or the Defence Department. Stan has married his woman. Claudia wants an ice hockey player who defected dead.

Philip tells Henry he can't pay for his fancy school. I thought Henry got a scholarship? How has the travel agency lost money? Elizbeth doesn't seem to care for Henry at all. TPTB have stopped with the nudity and OTT sex scenes. Elizabeth seizes a chance. Wouldn't she be vetted? Paige sleeps with a man to get info. Philip bugs a woman and Elizabeth's 'patient' pukes everywhere. These are terrible people. Where do they keep all their wigs?

Best Line:

“Talking about how terrible we are.”

Supergirl 4x17

All About Eve

Kara breaks into the DEO. J'onn has issues. Mrs Luthor learns her adored son Lex planned to kill her. Oddly Lex isn't rampaging. Ben Lockwood is frustrated. James bored. Kara tantrums at Lena and has to back down. Kara whines and is dumb. Red Daughter attacks the White House. This was boring. The POTUS declares martial law and declares Kara public enemy number 1. I'm sure this gag casting is a callback to 'Babylon 5'.

Timeless: The Miracle Of Christmas Part 1

This miniseries wraps up the show. Will TPTB stop forcing Wyatt and Lucy on us? Seasons 1&2 are summed up. Future Lucy hands over the infamous journal. Stupid Wyatt is told by future Wyatt that there is no baby. Like duh. Time machine are swapped. Jessica and Emma plot. Flynn says Lucy set him off on his rampage in season 1.

Flynn doesn't do much. He and Lucy had a thing?!? The gang meet Zorro. Wyatt decides to kill his wife. Flynn is sad over his life choices. Wyatt was a drunk who idealised his slut wife. Flynn kills Jessica. Ha! Rufus shows up. TPTB do Flynn dirty. Emma does stuff in 1950. Time changes and Rufus is still a moron. Emma plans to kill Korean war refugees or something. Things don't bode well. Oh WHO CARES?!?

Best Line:

“Time travel happened.”

Arrow 5x17


More bad guy beating. Mr Queen walked out on Emiko. Even though he raised Merlyn's bastard daughter as his own. Oliver lectures Emiko on marital arts. Piss off Oliver! Felicity continues to ignore William. Some bimbo shows up. I hate Felicity. Oliver is stupid. There are flashabcks to kid Emiko. There is a fight. Dante plans a murder party or something. Laurel 2.0 is sick of Dinah. Spartan puts on his stupid helmet. Emiko outs Laurel 2.0. Felicity babytalks. Emiko is Dante's BOSS and she sank the Queen's Gambit?!? I thought Merlyn did that?!? This sucked.

Tags: arrow, chilling adventures of sabrina, mortal instruments, review, supergirl, the americans, the following, timeless

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