epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Batman 2x23-2x25+Chimerica (2019) 1x01+Berlin Station 2x01+The Bay 1x02 Reviewed 😍😘😍😘🌹🌹

Marsha, Queen Of Diamonds

Is the baddie du jour a spoof of Liz Taylor? Are there no female police officers? A giant bat diamond powers the bat computer. Burt Ward has 2 obvious and nasty looking wounds on his arm. They look painful. Were they infected? In universe: did nobody wonder where they came from?

Carolyn Jones guest stars as a diamond thief named Marsha who keeps men in cages. She uses love darts. The love darts cause an overactive sense of devotion in the men they are fired at. Marsha has a witch sidekick/aunt. Robin is boringly reverential toward Batman. Marsha fires a love dart at Batman and he gets high but fights it off.

This was okay. Robin gets a love dart and yells woodenly. Marsha has Robin's unquestionable obedience. Marsha's hoe ass wants the bat-diamond and she orders Batman to marry her. Batman's moral heart thinks of Robin. Shouldn't Robin be in school? Marsha has a nice wedding tiara.

Best Lines:

“The bat extension.”

“Insufferable effrontery.”

“You mean you're not in love with me?”

“I'm not even mildly interested.”

Marsha's Scheme Of Diamonds

Batman gets out of marrying Marsha. Bruce invented a bat printer? Robin's in a bird cage. The witch was a chemistry professor at Vassar but Bruce puts her to work as a domestic sceince teacher. FFS. Robin gives Marsha a moral lecture. There are toads and Bruce seems to have invented quantum computing. This was okay.

Best Line:

“Noble voice.”

Come Back, Shame

A lame baddie shows up. What's a bushwacker? Shame seems to be running a chop shop. Why is platinum not easy to get? Shame grinds an axe. There's reckless gun usage and an annoying kid. The batbike and the Alfcycle are seen. Bruce and Dick go lingerie shopping, no comment. There is a cow deathtrap. This was medicore.

Best Lines:

“Messy James.”

“Tonsil varnish.”

“Bait, Master Dick?”

“Caped crimebuster.”

Chimerica (2019) 1x01

This is a fictional story about true events. A photographer in 1989 takes a famous photo. There is Trump bashing. The photographer is disgraced in 2016 when it is revealed by a snotty hipster that he faked a photo. The photographer is a jerk and this has no emotional impact. This was medicore and left you unengaged.

Everything's Gonna Be Alt-Right

Some new bimbo lurks. Daniel goes undercover as a neo-nazi. Wasn't he shot? Who was the guy Daniel fake shot? An election is coming. A neo-nazi bad boy and his daughter plot. Ashley Judd is the new station chief. Daniel's deep cover mission is being kept from the bosses. People are viciously stupid. Past characters won't leave. This was horribly, horribly bad. Hector resurfaces.

The Bay 1x02

The cop is basically useless. This was wholly unnecessary and tiresome. The mother is a useless slut who screams and shouts; she's imbecilic and appalling. People do nothing that is sensible. The stepdad is angry and not liked. This was unusually stupid. The father is belittled. The cop's surly teenage daughter goes out hooking. The local perv is suspected. The stepfather is provoked by his harpy wife. The cop is told to mother her child and stop ditching her daughter who dresses like a whore. I HATED this.

Tags: batman1966, berlin station, missing, review

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