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Book Reviews: Alien Pregnant By Elvis, part 5 + The Night Visitor

Alien Pregnant By Elvis by Esther M. Friesner and Martin H. Greenberg, part 5

Life's funny – when I began reading this, I thought I was in a happy realtionship. Didn't know my SO spent Valentines Day with a homewrecking Twitter twat WHORE. You shattered a family! Are you happy you SLUT?!? You think you've WON?!? KEEP HIM! Never mind me being badly let down. My ex wilfully destroyed our relationship and turned his back on me FOR NO REASON.

Frozen Hitler Found In Atlantean Love Nest (An Excerpt From Her Forthcoming The Wild Hunt For Gray Novemeber)

This is a purple-prosed unreadable short story that causes complete disinterest. This was absolutely horrendous.

Those Eyes

By David Brin. This is a tale of ancient astronauts/aliens who are really elves. Unsympathetic ones. This was good as the elves face humanity's furious defiance.

Best Lines:

“Worship silly meddlesome star-gods.”

“Hanger 18 crap.”

“Well, thanks a lot, you alien gods you! Thanks for neglecting to mention flush toilets, printing presses, democracy, or the germ theory of disease!”

Stop Press

This was idiot 'comedy'.

Martian Memorial To Elvis Sighted

By George Alec Effinger. This was another crappy Elvis tale.

The Night Visitor by Lucy Atkins

Professor Olivia Sweetman is a media darling but she's really a whiny harpy who has arrogance, no moral compass and treats a helper like a lone nut. This is a tale of culpability, rigorous opinions and undercurrents of mistrust and meance. Olivia is a wilfully ignorant twit who deserves all the painful troubles that are inflicted upon her. This book causes extreme displeasure.

Best Lines:

“Snapchating a necrotic skull.”

“I've seen her BBC documentary about insane Victorian women.”

“She pretends, for my sake, to find him endearing.”

“Increasingly imprisoned and curtailed by him.”

“Dread at what I might do in return.”

“Feel completely irrelevant in your life. You're so full of distain for me now-”

“The uncomfortable person with the empty seat next to her, unskilled in charm,”

“Elm hateth and waiteth.”

“An arrogant charmer who thoroughly believes in his own brilliance despite evidence to the contrary.”

Tags: 2nd hand book store find, book review

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